Everything Is Blue
by pearls1990
Summary: Lance and Keith share a moment as Shiro is sleeping. Feelings are revealed. Credit for the icon goes to an artist on Tumblr - fudayk.
1. Missing You

**CHAPTER ONE: I Miss You**

 _"Someday, after mastering the winds, the waves, the tides and gravity, we shall harness for God the energies of love, and then, for a second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire."_

 _\- Pierre Teilhard de Chardin_

The Paladins and their passengers landed on Olkarion approximately seventy – two vargas ago, and most of them had spent the first twenty - four sleeping. Now, Pidge and Hunk were configuring something or another. Allura and Coran were catching up with Romelle. Keith's mother was – somewhere- and Lance found himself wandering aimlessly around the complex the Olkarion set aside for them to live during their short stay. Everyone wanted to find a body of water to sit and chill beside as soon as Shiro was stable and able to walk.

Lance now found himself standing in the doorway of the large room in which Shiro slept. The man had woken only a couple times to eat and use the restroom. The doctor that the Olkarion brought in to look at Shiro said that sleep was his best bet for healing his body and mind. However, the Doctor decided that an I.V. would be the best to keep Shiro hydrated.

Lance and Keith took turns watching over Shiro, but Keith never left his side. Lance finally had to shove Keith out of the room and force him to eat and shower eighteen vargas ago. Lance shook his head and sighed loudly when his eyes landed on Keith's form curled up on the couch. It barely held his new, more substantial body, and Lance had to grin at that. He leaned against the doorframe, watching both men sleeping soundly.

Pushing away from the doorframe, Lance walked over to the bed and knelt beside it, resting his arms and chin on the bed. The only light in the room came from the hallway and the setting sun, casting shadows on Shiro's face that made him look older than his 26 years – older and tired. Lance reached out and gently brushed his hair off his forehead.

"Shiro I-…" Lance whispered, the words stuck in his throat. "I can't express how happy your return has made me. I missed you and Keith. I missed having you set me straight and having Keith pushing me to my limits. My life hasn't been the same since we made the decision to rescue you. None of our lives have been the same. That's a good thing I think cause we've all grown in our own little ways…I'm just glad that both you and Keith are alive…"

As Lance chatted to a sleeping Shiro, Keith stirred in his sleep. His dreams had been of his time in the Quantum Abyss; his mind refusing to accept the battle with Shiro. Keith was glad for that – he didn't want to wake Shiro with his screams of Shiro's name. He rubbed his face and blinked, trying to get his bearings. Keith was just about to tell Lance to shut the hell up when Keith realized Lance was talking about him; praising his fighting and leadership skills and his good looks…

Keith almost choked as he coughed and tried to untangle his body from the small couch he had been sleeping on. He wanted to put an end to Lance's rambling before he said something he would regret. Keith stretched his lithe and lean body across the couch, and his shirt rose up just enough to show a sliver of his pale skin.

Lance in the meantime stared at Keith, and when the sliver of skin showed itself, his face turned red and hot to the touch. He buried the bottom half in his arms to hide his blush from Keith; he knew Keith would never let him live that down.

"Lance," Keith's voice was rough around the edges from sleep. They stared at each other over Shiro's sleeping form. "What are you doing?"

Lance scratched the back of his neck, carefully selecting his words. He wasn't sure how much Keith had heard.

"I…ah…just wanted to check in on you and Shiro to see how you two were doing," Lance buried his face again.

Keith yawned and flung his long legs over the edge of the couch. He winced as he placed both hands on his lower back and pushed as he stretched his back. He rolled his shoulders then rested his elbows on his knees and clasped his hands together.

"Shiro has been sleeping fitfully the past seven hours," Keith ran a hand through his hair. "He hasn't actually talked in his sleep, just grumbles and turns over. He's been quiet the past two hours, and I slept way too hard on this couch."

"Why didn't you just go to your room and sleep? I'm pretty sure Shiro would have been fine,"

"I wanted…er…to be here when Shiro woke up," Keith rubbed his neck and turned it gingerly to the left. "I'm really regretting this couch."

Lance stood carefully as to not disturb Shiro and walked around the bed to sit next to Keith on the couch. Keith instinctively moved away as Lance held his hands up.

"May I?"

Keith opened his mouth to protest, wondering what Lance's motives were. But when all he saw was open honesty and not his trademark sneer, Keith obliged.

"Um…okay," Keith said as he turned his back to Lance.

Lance placed one hand gently on Keith's neck and started kneading the muscles there. He put his other hand on Keith's shoulder, effectively holding him in place. Keith bit back a groan that threatened to escape his lips.

"Thank you," he said instead.

"No problem. You seemed wound up, and I know that couch isn't comfortable," Lance said, lowering his hand as he kneaded Keith's shoulders. Keith grunted his acknowledgment.

"So, uh, how was life out in space?"

"It was…different. Being able to bond with my mother was nice. But it was quiet out there. It made me feel small. I missed you guys every day."

"I bet you didn't miss me?" Lance gave a self-deprecating chuckle as he kneaded his way across the other's shoulders.

"What?" Keith said as he turned his head slightly. "Lance, what are you talking about? Of course, I missed you. Thinking about your crazy antics is what got me through some of my darker days."

Lance froze, then pulled away from Keith. "Quit lying, it's not funny, dude."

"Lance?" Keith turned to face Lance who had turned away from him. "Lance…look at me."

"I know you have your moments, but I should be the last person you think of," Lance huffed.

Keith raised his hand and hesitantly placed it on Lance's shoulder, forcing the other to turn and face him.

"Lance, you…" Keith paused. He normally didn't wear his heart on his sleeve like this, but something about Lance at that moment made him want to show the man how much he meant to him, and the team. "How could I not miss you? You mean a lot to me…to this team! Lance, I saw you taking charge of the team when Shiro broke down. It struck me hard when he went to his knees like that and…and I froze. I didn't know what to do."

Lance swallowed the lump that formed in his throat. He didn't want to believe Keith's words – they were coming from KEITH after all- the hothead. He watched Keith as he spoke; the way the Quantum Abyss had aged him, it made him look almost…beautiful. The teenager was gone, replaced by this handsome man with his cheekbones that could cut glass and hair that Lance suddenly wanted to run his hands through. All these thoughts scared Lance, not knowing what to do with them.

"Honestly, without you, I believe the whole team would be flying off the handle. I like this change in you Lance," Keith managed a small smile and Lance gave one back, but sniffed and turned away from the intensity in Keith's wide eyes.

"Hey," Keith said quietly as he timidly placed his hand on Lance's face and turned him to face him. Lance sucked in a sharp gasp of air when he found himself only inches from Keith's face. He could feel his breath on his lips. "I think…"

Keith closed the distance between them as he placed a chaste kiss on Lance's lips. He expected it when Lance froze; in fact, he expected Lance to push him away violently, not accepting any sort of affection from Keith.

What Keith wasn't expecting was Lance to return the kiss, gently and carefully placing his right hand on Keith's shoulder.

Keith pulled away to breathe. Lance scanned his face, his eyes landing on the soft lips that were just on his. He placed both hands on each side of Keith's face and closed the distance again, this time deepening the kiss. Keith gasped into his mouth as Lance ran his tongue along the other's lower lip. Taking another chance, he dipped his tongue into Lance's mouth, running it along his teeth. Keith groaned as he met Lance's tongue with his own. He grasped onto Lance's shirt sleeve with one hand and his thigh with his right hand.

They were breathing heavily when they broke away. Both looked at each other in the fading light of the sunset.

"How long…how long have you felt this way?" Keith asked as he watched Lance lick his lips. Oh, gods how he wanted to kiss this man forever.

"I-I don't know?" Lance paused. "When you left through the wormhole, I was so freaking worried. After I tried to console Allura, I found myself thinking of you more than usual. And not the usual spiteful things."

Keith was taken aback for a second as his scowl returned.

"You think spiteful things about me?"

Lance chuckled. "Not anymore. You and I were at odds for so long that I used those spiteful thoughts to fuel my confidence in a battle. Somehow, those spiteful thoughts turned into not spiteful thoughts and then to 'I wonder when Keith is coming back so I can bother him' to 'I really miss Keith' thoughts."

Keith raised his brow and opened his mouth to say something before he was interrupted by a voice from the bed.

"Keith? Lance? What are you guys doing?" Shiro propped himself on his elbow, his hair disheveled.

Both Lance and Keith untangled themselves from each other and stood, almost tripping over each other. Shiro smirked at them knowingly.


	2. Fragile and Composed

**Chapter 2: Fragile and Composed**

* * *

"Shiro!" Keith and Lance said in unison.

"You…" Keith cleared his throat of the lump that had formed. "You're awake."

"Mmm…sort of," Shiro put a hand to his head and scrubbed it over his face. He groaned as he slowly swung his legs over the side of the bed. He overcompensated, trying to steady himself with his right arm and almost fell over, forgetting about his missing arm. Keith caught him as Lance grabbed his left arm.

"I…my arm…" Shiro stuttered as he looked down at his missing appendage.

"Yeah, um…" Keith looked away and down at the floor.

"What happened to me?" He looked at his left arm that was covered in faint bruises that were healing. His eye caught on Lance and Shiro smiled as he weaved his hand around the back of Lance's head and brought their foreheads together. "Lance. Good to see you."

"Uhhh…yeah," Lance said before swallowing his emotions. He hadn't realized how much he missed this side of Shiro. Lance rested his hand on Shiro's shoulder for a moment before Shiro broke away.

"Sorry, but I have to use the restroom," Shiro said as he gave a small smile. "And I'm not sure I can stand on my own. Can one of you help me to the room?"

"Oh, yeah, sure," Keith sniffed and wrapped an arm around Shiro's waist, as Shiro wrapped his arm around Lance's shoulders and they lifted him off the bed, both placing their hands on Shiro's abdomen to brace him. As they waited for him to get his bearings, Lance glanced over at Keith, and in the dim light, thought he saw watery eyes.

Keith helped Shiro to the restroom, and he reassured him that he could figure it out from there. Keith, however, hovered just in case as he averted his eyes.

Lance, in the meantime, sat back down on the bed and ghosted his fingers over his lips. He couldn't think of a time he had ever been kissed or wanted to kiss anyone like him, and Keith just did. He had kissed plenty of girls and women - even a boy when he was nine, but the kid smacked him and ran off and cried – but Lance had never felt the way he did when he and Keith kissed. His body came alive, and all his senses wanted more of Keith.

Lance shook his head as he let out a noisy breath. Because the bathroom was only a few feet away, he heard Shiro and Keith talking, catching little snatches of their conversation.

"You and Lance?" He heard Shiro say.

"Um, well…just talking," Keith responded.

"Just talking?" Lance whispered. He hadn't considered that Keith didn't feel the same thing as he did. _Keith probably kisses lots of boys, and I bored him._ Lance ran a hand through his hair and stood.

"You two are good…?" Was all he heard Shiro say.

"I don't know…" Keith responded.

Lance suddenly found it hard to breathe, and he ran out of Shiro's room. He kept running until he found himself in the hills overlooking Olkarion City. He drew a deep breath and bent over and rested his hands on his knees. Lance watched as the city came alive with lights and the Olkari running around. He shook his head, disappointed in himself. Lance had thought he was through running from people and situations…

"Damn you, Keith," Lance said as he wiped his forehead. "Why do I have to fall for the impossible ones?"

The last of the city lit up, and a new annex caught Lance's eye. He tilted his head as curiosity got the better of him, and he ran back down the hill toward the addition.

"Thank you, Keith," Shiro said in the meantime. As he got settled back in bed, Shiro looked around the dim room. "Huh, I wonder where Lance went?"

Keith furrowed his brow in disappointment when he glanced around and saw that Lance wasn't in the room. Had he scared the guy off? Lance was a perpetual flirt, and he hadn't pushed Keith away when they kissed. So, where was he? And why had he left without saying anything?

"Oh my gosh," Shiro said as he yawned. "I've never slept so much in my life and yet I feel like I could sleep some more."

"The doctor said that sleep would be the best thing for you," Keith said as he turned on a lamp in the corner of the room, expecting Lance to pull one of his crazy 'jumps out of the shadow' tricks. Keith wasn't sure why he felt let down when Lance didn't show up.

"Come, sit," Shiro said and patted the bed next to him. Keith walked over and sat, feeling self-conscious as Shiro furrowed his brow and stared at his face. He reached his hand out and gently turned his face. Shiro ran his fingers lightly over the scar on Keith's jaw and cheek and the boy hissed. "What happened, Keith? What happened to me? To us?"

Keith clenched his jaw at the haunted look in Shiro's eyes. He knew that this was still a clone, with the real Shiro's memories and the real Shiro's…well pretty much everything.

"I-I don't…I don't think I'm ready…" he started when the doctor came in.

"Shiro, it's good to see you awake!" The doctor interrupted.

"Doctor Presscott?" Shiro squinted at the Olkari that had treated him on their previous trip to the planet. They smiled warmly at both Keith and Shiro.

"Of course," Presscott picked up Shiro's chart that hung at the end of his bed. "I had to throw some elbows to get your room on my night shift, but my fellow doctors finally succumbed."

"So, I'm in a hospital room?"

"You are," the doctor answered as they marked a couple items on the chart. "We need to stop meeting like this or the planet is going to start talking about us."

Presscott smiled at him, and he returned a pained smile.

"How…my gods, what happened to me?" Shiro put a hand to his head. Keith wanted nothing more than to gather the man in his arms and hold him forever. Instead, he stood.

"I should let the doc look at you," Keith said as he nodded at Shiro who slowly nodded back. "Take care of him, Doctor Presscott."

"Of course, Keith," the doctor placed the chart at the end of the bed. "Come and see me later and we can talk if you like?"

"Yeah, okay," Keith stuffed his hands in his pockets and smiled a small smile.

Keith finally found Lance in the new annex the City had rebuilt for training and exercise purposes. He watched as Lance blocked and parried with…was that a new sword? Keith tilted his head and tried not to be impressed with the other's maneuvers, but it was hard not to watch Lance's tall, lithe body move around the blasts from the pods. It also didn't help that Lance was dressed in a mostly black, almost skin-tight jumpsuit that allowed little to the imagination.

But as Keith watched closer, he saw a determination, almost aggressive nature about Lances moves. Like he was fighting some inner demon that he had materialized.

As soon as the last blast was blocked, Lance let out a feral growl that ended with a curse.

"God damn you, Keith!" Lance made to throw the sword but was interrupted by Keith.

"Hey! What did I ever do to you?" Keith walked up to the edge of the fighting pad. Lance looked at him with wide eyes.

"Stop simulation," Lance said as he wiped his forehead. "You weren't supposed to hear that. Don't you know it's rude to eavesdrop?"

He walked past Keith, bumping into him on his way to a table that held a water bottle and a towel. Lance grabbed the towel and wiped the sweat from his face.

"What the hell, Lance?" Keith turned to face Lance, his arms crossed. "Eavesdropping implies listening in on someone else's conversation. I don't see anyone else?" He threw out his hand and gestured to the large room.

"I was talking to myself," Lance said before taking a drink of the water. "Seems to be the only one who will accept my friendship."

Keith struggled to answer Lance, and he ended up stuttering.

"What are you doing here, Keith?"

Keith stared at him stone-faced for a moment before he answered.

"I wanted to check out the new annex, and I saw you were here…" Keith paused and gestured at Lance. "Where did you get the sword?"

"The Red Bayard and I had some words, and I got it to work with me," Lance smirked and raised an eyebrow. "Allura says it's an Altean broadsword."

Keith huffed and rolled his eyes. "The whole time I had possession of the Red Bayard it never evolved. So, you've obviously strengthened your bond with it."

"Obviously," Lance said as he walked passed Keith and bumped him again.

"That's a good thing, Lance. I'm proud of you,"

Lance threw up his arms in resignation.

"Why is it so surprising that-…" Lance stopped his rant and turned to face Keith. "Wait, what did you say?"

"I said, I'm proud of you, Lance, you've bonded with your Bayard,"

Lance stepped closer and squinted at Keith. "I don't believe you. Take up arms and fight me."

"But I don't have my Blade…" Keith was interrupted by Lance as he threw a blade at him. "What the hell?"

"I think it's your mom's," Lance said as he stepped onto the pad. He swiped the air a couple times with the sword. "It was here when I arrived, and she was leaving."

"Krol-…Mother wouldn't just leave her Blade laying around like that," Keith said as he admired the weapon in his hand.

"Well then, maybe it's a mock up that the Olkarian's had made. Are you gonna step up? Or admire that blade all day?"

Keith frowned at Lance.

"Only if we wear armor,"

"Scared?" Lance placed his hands on his hips.

"Of killing you, yes."

Keith said it so seriously, Lance had to gather himself as he watched Keith don the armor used for practice combat. He threw one to Lance, and he placed his Bayard on the floor and slipped on the armor.

They stood in the middle of the pad facing each other. Lance took the first jab, and Keith blocked expertly.

"Why did you run out of Shiro's room?" Keith asked five minutes later, in between parries.

"It seemed we were all out of talking," Lance took a swipe at Keith, and he dodged.

"What are you talking about?" Keith returned the swipe and Lance leaped out of the way.

"That's all we were doing, wasn't it? Just talking?" Lance went after Keith more aggressively. Keith dodged and blocked all of it.

"Lance, what is wrong with you?" Keith pushed him away when Lance had him cornered. They had extended their fight to use the rest of the room.

"Obviously a lot if you don't even want to admit to Shiro that we were kissing!" Lance swung carelessly at Keith and Keith blocked and knocked his Bayard out of his hand. Lance was stunned as Keith grabbed the front of his shirt.

"What are you talking about? I did tell Shiro what we were doing,"

Lance opened his mouth to answer, but nothing came out. Keith watched him, his eyes wandered to the soft lips he had devoured earlier. He hadn't realized until now, how much he wanted to kiss that luscious mouth again.

Keith suddenly found himself being shaken.

"Did you hear anything I said?" Lance asked, but couldn't finish his sentence before Keith's mouth was on his. He drew a sharp breath through his nose and finally relaxed and responded by running his hands through the other's hair. Keith groaned into the kiss, and Lance suddenly wanted more of Keith who had released his shirt and was letting his hand roam over the armor over Lance's chest. Lance grabbed the hair at the back of the other's head and pulled, exposing the pale skin on Keith's neck. He made butterfly kisses over the scar on his jaw and cheek.

"Lance, I…" Keith started as Lance pawed at his armor, trying desperately to pull it off Keith's body. Keith stepped away from Lance and wrestled himself out of the shield. Lance, stunned at first, took his own armor off and they threw it to the side. Lance reached for Keith's face again, their lips crashing together, teeth gnashing, both giggling at their desperation until Keith pulled away for a moment to slow them down. He rested his hands on Lance's hips and let his eyes roam over Lance's handsome face. He leaned in again, capturing the other's lips in a slow, passionate kiss.

Neither one had realized they had walked themselves back into a wall. Keith let out an "Oooff" as his back hit the wall. Lance placed both hands on the wall at shoulder level and brought his leg between Keith's thighs. Keith gasped as his body responded of its own accord.

Lance leaned in and whispered into Keith's ear: "I think…"

A loud bang of a door closing somewhere out in the hallway leading to the annex and voices brought both men out of their passionate haze and Lance stepped away from Keith, running his fingertips over his lips, missing Keith there.

"C'mon," Keith said as he grabbed Lance's wrist. "Let's get out of here."

"Wait!" Lance said as he ran back into the room. "I have to grab my clothes!"

They ran out of the annex toward their complex.

"Keith," Lance said as Keith grabbed both of his arms and pushed him into the brick wall of their housing unit. He kissed Lance with a fervor that made Lance's knees weak. Keith pushed his mid-section into Lance's hip and Lance felt how excited Keith was. He panicked.

"Keith. Keith, stop!"

"Lance, what?" Keith huffed after he leaned away from Lance.

Lance blinked at the harsh expression on the other's face.

"What…What are we doing?" he asked. He placed a hand on Keith's chest and felt his heart racing.

"I thought that was obvious," Keith stepped away. "but if you need an illustrated guide, you'll have to ask Shiro for that,"

Lance furrowed his brow and rolled his eyes.

"I know what we were doing-…" he waved his hand in between them. "I want to know if we take this all the way tonight…where do we stand? Are we friends with benefits? Are we more than that? If we hate it then what?" Lance paused for a second. "Why would Shiro have an illustrated guide to making out?"

Keith closed his eyes and drew in a deep breath, hiding his frustration with Lance, and with the situation.

"That's…a long story," Keith cleared his throat. "I hope we are friends whatever happens. I-I don't want to let this get between us. I really want to be with you, but not if you are going to freak out on me."

Lance looked down at his feet and stuffed his hands into his jacket.

"What about you and Shiro?"

"What about us?" Keith raised an eyebrow.

"Are…aren't you two…together?"

Keith smiled a small smile and chuckled.

"No," he scratched the back of his head. "No, we tried, but we are too close. He's too much of a mentor to me."

The silence stretched out for a couple ticks as they listened to the sounds of the City.

"So, I hear there's supposed to be some sort of meteor shower tonight," Lance started. "Do you want to find a spot outside the city to watch it? We can see where things go from there?"

"Yeah, I'd like that," Keith smiled at Lance who winked and made finger-guns at the other. Keith pushed him playfully. "Geez!"

Lance snorted and put his arm around Keith as they headed to their respective apartments to gather blankets and snacks

* * *

Come in like a hurricane  
I take it in real slow  
The world is spinning like a weather vane  
Fragile and composed  
Though I am breaking down again  
I am aching now to let you in.

"Hurricane" Lyrics by Fleurie /nZcf3oXfz5k

I have no Beta, so all mistakes are mine!  
Thank you for reading! Comments are love.


	3. This Life and the Next

**Chapter 3: This Life and the Next**

"Hey guys," Pidge said as Keith and Lance entered the Common Room. They had already gathered blankets and extra jackets. Now they were after snacks from the kitchen. "How's Shiro?"

"Er…He's awake, finally," Lance scratched the back of his neck nervously. He looked over at Keith who was looking at him with a similar expression, helplessness. In all their worries about their feelings for each other, they never stopped to think about Shiro's state and how the others would want to see him.

"The…er…doctor came and is looking him over, giving him some tests," Keith said as he shifted his weight from foot to foot. "We, um, decided to give him some space."

"What's all the blankets and stuff for?" Hunk asked as he walked over and tugged on a blanket. "Gonna make a fort in Shiro's room and make out?"

Hunk elbowed Pidge, and they started giggling. Lance and Keith looked at each other again and turned bright red.

"Ah…er, no," Lance's voice cracked as he walked over to the fridge. He opened it and shook his head, not knowing any of the food inside.

Hunk and Pidge looked at each other through narrowed eyes.

"Is everything okay, guys?" Hunk asked. "You seem nervous."

"We were going to watch the meteor shower that's supposed to happen," Keith said when Lance didn't elaborate. He flinched away from Pidge's bright hazel stare. "Do you two want to join us?"

"Sure!"

"Why not?"

Pidge and Hunk said in unison.

"Good, 'cause I have no idea what's in that refrigerator. I have no idea if that's even a fridge." Lance said as he closed the door on the device. "Hunk you can be in charge of snacks."

"Ah, thanks Lance," Hunk said as he elbowed the man gently to the side. "It _is_ a fridge, by the way."

"Well, good. At least my judgment isn't too far off," Lance plopped himself on the couch as he let out a giant sigh.

"I'll go grab some blankets and equipment for us, while you are doing that, okay Hunk?"

"Thanks, Pidge,"

As Pidge raced out of the room, Keith sat down next to Lance. He hesitantly placed a hand on Lance's thigh.

"Is…are you okay? Are you mad that I invited them?"

"No, no of course not," Lance ran his hand down his face. "I'm just anxious about everything that's happened this evening. I've been thinking about my family a lot too."

Keith hummed his response. His family was here, in space, next to him and around him. After finally meeting his mother, he felt complete somehow. But losing Shiro, broke his heart and he wasn't sure he would be able to piece it back together again. Even his feelings for Lance didn't seal the cracks in his psyche.

"You know," Hunk started as he placed the last item from the fridge into the bag he was holding. "We should stop by and see Shiro on our way out of the City."

"Sure," Keith said. He pushed off the couch with his hand still on Lance's thigh. Hunk raised an eyebrow but said nothing. He had a feeling about Lance and Keith, but he didn't want to assume anything; pushing it would scare them off. "I'm curious about what the doctor has to say anyway."

"Are we ready?" Pidge said as she descended the stairs.

"Yeah, we're gonna stop by the hospital and see Shiro before we head out," Hunk said as Pidge handed him his stuff.

"Good, I'm excited to see him!"

"He's awake," Doctor Presscott said after the paladins found them at the nurse's station just down the hall from Shiro's room. "But I don't know for how long. At this point, sleep is his best bet for healing – both physically and mentally. I've replaced his IV, and I think in two days I will start him on physical therapy."

"Thank you, Doctor," Pidge said. "Is there anything we can do in the meantime?"

"Yeah, like help with physical therapy or something?" Hunk asked.

"Well, I'll see what the therapist says. But I think it's a good idea. He's been through a lot and having his team, his friends with him will help with whatever effects he's dealing with."

"Thanks, Doc!"

"Can we go see him now?" Pidge asked.

"Yes, please do," Doctor Presscott smiled as Hunk and Pidge skipped down to Shiro's room. Lance started that way too, but paused and turned when Keith didn't follow.

"Aren't you coming?"

"I…have some questions for the doctor," Keith said as he gestured to Lance. "You can go on."

Lance blinked and realized he had questions as well. He walked back to them.

"Can I listen in? I have questions too,"

Keith hadn't told anyone about his fight with Shiro. He had said to them that he found Shiro with his arm missing. He almost told Lance no but decided he could ask more questions later. Keith nodded at Lance and turned toward the Doctor.

"Is he…did he say anything about his memories?"

"I asked him what he remembers, but he says his memory is fuzzy," Presscott paused, trying to find the right words as they gestured with their hand. "He says the last thing he remembers is the fight with Zarkon and then he's floating."

"So, he doesn't remember anything about Lotor, or how he lost his arm?" Lance asked.

"If he does, he's not telling me, which is understandable. He's experiencing some PTSD, and his brain is suppressing those memories to keep him safe and help his body heal. When us Olkari experience any sort of trauma, I have found that it is best to let them sleep, let their bodies heal and let what you humans call the subconscious, heal as well. I know it's different for humans, but I know sleep is always good."

"Thank you, Doctor,"

"Of course, Keith, anytime," Presscott turned back to the nurse's station as Keith crossed his arms and stared down the hall. He was going to have to be honest with his friends at some point, just not right now.

Lance placed a hand on Keith's shoulder and brought him out of his reverie.

"What are you thinking about?"

"I'm just worried for Shiro, that's all," Keith tried to smile, but it came out crooked and sad.

"He's a strong man, Keith," Lance put his arm around him. "I'm worried about Shiro too. But until his memories come back, there's nothing we can do but be patient. He'll come around, and we'll be here for him."

Keith smiled genuinely this time and looked over at Lance.

"When did you get so wise?"

"You aren't the only one that's changed, Keith," Lance winked at the other as Keith shook his head and gave Lance a playful shove.

"Let's go before we miss the show," Keith said as he grabbed Lance's wrist and dragged him to Shiro's door.

* * *

"Thanks for inviting us," Pidge said three vargas later as she yawned. "It's been a while since all of us did anything fun together."

"True, we need to do stuff like this more often," Hunk said adjusting his blankets in his hands.

"Well, we were out saving the universe before," Keith said. "Now we are just some humans on their way to their home planet,"

"Wait, we are still Paladins," Lance cut in. "We still have to answer distress calls and such."

"I know," Keith nodded.

"Hunk and I are going to help Rynar set up the last of the Olkari defenses tomorrow if you guys want to join us?" Pidge asked.

Lance raised a brow. "Do you really want me hanging around while you guys do your technical stuff? You know what happens when I get bored."

"Well, you know where we will be if you need us for anything," Hunk said, chuckling, as Pidge held the door. "Thanks, Pidge."

"And if Shiro's condition changes," Pidge gave a small smile as Lance and Keith passed.

They watched Pidge and Hunk race each other to the top of the stairs as Lance and Keith took their time, lost in thought and in each other's company.

"So, um," Lance rested his hand on his doorknob as he gripped his blanket with the other. Keith was about to enter his room when Lance's voice stopped him. He stood in his doorway, his expression open and waiting. Lance continued: "Can we finish what we were talking about earlier?"

Keith opened his mouth to say something but shut it immediately. He threw his blanket in his room and walked over to Lance, taking his face gently in his hands and placing a soft kiss on Lance's plush lips. Lance drew in a loud breath through his nose, kicking the door open with his shoe, not wanting to give up the grip he had on Keith's arm. They giggled into each other's mouths when Lance tripped over his feet, trying to kick his shoes off.

They parted long enough for Lance to flip the light on and take his jacket off. Keith tore off his boots and threw his coat over where Lance's landed. Keith turned the bedside light on, and Lance turned the too bright overhead light off. Walking over to Keith, he smiled and captured the other's lips in a kiss that curled his toes. Keith groaned as he wrapped his hands around Lance's waist, his fingers weaving their way under Lance's shirt.

"Ah, your hands are cold," Lance's voice came out breathless against Keith's lips.

"Sorry," Keith's voice was barely a whisper before he moved his lips against Lance's and pressed his hands into Lance's back. Lance grunted, and Keith entered his mouth with his tongue, barely skimming the other's lips.

Somehow, Lance found himself on his back on his bed, Keith straddling his hips and kissing him like he was going to disappear. Lance wrapped his arms around Keith's waist, pushing his hands underneath his shirt. His fingers ran up and down Keith's spine, and Keith shivered and gasped against Lance's mouth. Lance kissed at Keith's jaw, taking special care over the scar. He pressed a kiss just below Keith's ear and Keith gritted his teeth and bucked his hips.

They both froze as they felt each other's excitement through their trousers.

"I-I want this…" Lance whispered into Keith's ear, as Keith bucked his hips again. "Ah…Keith…nngg…"

Lance took a couple of deep breaths to contain his rising passion.

"I want you too, Lance," Keith murmured before kissing Lance's ear. It was Lance's turn to move his hips as a small noise escaped his mouth. "But…I-I've never done anything like this before."

"Well, you're doing a heck of a job," Lance chuckled as he gently tugged on Keith's ear with his teeth.

Keith's body went still.

Lance straightened and pushed on Keith's chest, raising him so he could look him in the eye.

"You're not kidding, are you?" Lance asked, narrowing his eyes.

Keith shook his head.

"You've made out with someone before, right?"

"Shiro…Shiro and I kissed and tugged on each other's clothes, but I stopped him because I didn't feel comfortable," Keith sat back, sitting squarely on Lance's thighs as Lance propped himself on his elbows.

"But you've made out with girls too, right?"

Keith bit his lip and shook his head, averting his eyes.

"Oh," Lance's brain tried to wrap itself around this new fact.

Keith started to pull himself off Lance, but he held his thighs with a tight grip.

"Where are you going?" Lance asked his face full of disappointment.

"I…it looked like you wanted to stop."

"Heck no," Lance paused as he tilted his head to look Keith in the eyes. "Unless you want to stop?"

Keith let out the breath he was holding. "No, I don't want to stop."

"Well, if it helps, I've never made out with a guy before," he paused. "Unless you count the kid I kissed in the fifth level. He smacked me and ran away crying. I'm surprised he didn't ruin me for other kisses."

Keith smiled and let out a chuckle. "You didn't ask him for permission,"

Lance met Keith's large eyes. They were almost black with desire. He reached up and placed his hands on each side of Keith's face. "May I kiss you, Keith?"

A smile more significant than any that Lance had ever seen on Keith, lit his face so wholly, Lance had to steel himself for a moment before he ran his lips lightly over Keith's.

Keith held his breath in anticipation and snaked his hand around the back of Lance's neck and pulled him in. They devoured each other as if they were going to disappear.

* * *

...Why think separately  
of this life and the next  
when one is born from the last...  
 _~Look at Love~_  
 **by Rumi**


	4. Far Beyond

This was a beast to write; I haven't written anything this emotional in a while!

Yes, the title of this chapter is from the title of the song in the Season 7 trailer.

* * *

 **Chapter Four: Far Beyond**

Lance ran his hands up under Keith's shirt, tugging to get it off. Keith hesitantly parted from Lance's lips and threw off his shirt. Lance drew in a sharp breath as he placed his hands on Keith's chest. Keith leaned over and kissed the other man as Lance ran his hands over his chest and over his stomach, memorizing all the dips and curves. Keith tipped Lance's head, kissing down his jaw and to his neck.

"Keith," Lance's voice came out as a whisper, but the groan he let out rumbled through both their bodies. He bucked his hips when Keith placed a kiss below his ear.

Lance gently pushed Keith to a sitting position and tore his own shirt off. Lance smiled at Keith as he ran his hands through Keith's unruly locks. A small patch of red appeared on Keith's cheeks as Lance ran his fingertips over them. His fingers moved to Keith's plush mouth as he ran a thumb over his lips. Keith's tongue darted out to taste, and Lance pushed his thumb further into Keith's mouth. Keith grasped Lance's hand, and Lance froze, unsure if he went too far. But Keith sucked his thumb in, and Lance gasped at how Keith's mouth looked wrapped around his thumb.

Lance gently pulled out his thumb and replaced it with his mouth. They devoured each other as Keith rocked his hips against Lance's. One of Keith's hands tangled in the other's hair as the other roamed over Lance's chest. He gently tweaked the other's nipples, one at a time as Lance moved his hips and let out a loud moan into Keith's mouth. Keith pinched them again, and Lance parted from the other's lips reluctantly.

"Keith, Keith," Lance repeated his name like a mantra into Keith's neck as his hands wandered down the other's back and dipped into Keith's pants, pushing Keith's hips into his own, their erections rubbing against the other through their clothes.

"Lance!" Keith exclaimed, his own desire coming to a peak. He kissed Lance's temples, but Lance grasped his hair and slowly pulled his head back, exposing Keith's long, graceful neck. Lance placed butterfly kisses along his jaw, then down that beautiful neck. The sounds coming from Keith were fueling Lance's desire, and he hadn't realized he was rocking his hips against Keith's until Keith suddenly grabbed them and stopped him.

"L-Lance…" Keith squeezed his eyes shut and tried to moderate his breathing to restrain his growing desire. "Please, I…nngg…"

"Keith, hold on to me," Lance nuzzled the other's neck and wrapped his arms around Keith. His skin was warm.

Keith wrapped his arms around Lance's shoulders. He was painfully aware of their naked chests touching and tried to relax into Lance who laid back and pulled Keith with him. He rolled both onto their sides, facing each other. Keith's breathing finally regulated as Lance brushed his hair out of his face.

"Are you okay?" He whispered.

"Hmm…yeah," Keith finally opened his eyes, and Lance gasped at him.

"Oh, my gods, Keith," Lance ran a hand tenderly over the other's brow. Keith's eyes were large and dilated, with only a ring of purple around them. Keith tried to turn away, but Lance grabbed his chin. "Please don't turn away. Your eyes…they're beautiful."

"Lance, I don't-…" Keith paused and finally looked up at Lance through his long, dark lashes. "You…think they are…beautiful?"

Lance cleared his throat. "Well, I mean…yeah," he leaned forward and whispered: "I think you are beautiful," and kissed Keith on his ear.

Keith shivered and moaned, pulling Lance closer to him. Lance hummed his approval and rolled them over so that Keith was underneath. Lance smiled before dipping his head for a kiss. Keith ran his hands over Lance's back, memorizing the feeling of his soft skin, as Lance kissed the other's neck, down to his collarbone, kissing the dips and valleys. Lance kissed his way down to Keith's chest, pinching one nipple as he hovered over the other.

"Lance!" Keith's voice was rough with desire as he arched his back and moaned.

Lance chuckled and ran his tongue slowly over the other nipple, relishing the sounds that Keith was making. He stayed in place, tweaking and pinching, taking enjoyment in Keith writhing underneath him. Lance moved down Keith's body, mapping it with his tongue, leaving a trail of fire where he touched.

Keith in the meantime was running his hands through Lance's hair, bucking his hips against Lance. His lust for the man on top of him was almost becoming unbearable, but Keith wasn't sure how far he wanted to take this; his own sexual experiences were limited.

As if reading his mind, Lance kissed the skin right above the button on his trousers and lifted his head, eyes hooded, lips damp and red from kissing. Keith gasped.

"You okay?" Lance asked.

Keith stuttered before answering. "Y-Yeah, you are…I'm just…"

Lance smiled and crawled up and kissed Keith, hot flames licking up Keith's spine.

"I want…I want to taste you," Lance said, trying to catch his breath.

"I…what?" Keith's lust idled brain couldn't put together what Lance was telling him.

"If you let me," Lance paused and traced his fingertips along Keith's brow. "I want to give you…I don't know how to say this without being blunt, but I want to suck you off."

Keith drew in a sharp breath of air. He grasped Lance's face with both hands and kissed him in response. They stayed like that for a moment, limbs entangled, tongues dancing, passions on edge.

"Yes," Keith said eagerly when they parted to take a breath.

Lance smiled and crawled off Keith and the bed. He pulled Keith to the end of the bed, so his butt was to the edge, then knelt between his legs and looked up at him. For what seemed like the thousandth time that evening, Lance was struck by Keith's beautiful eyes.

"Um…I've only done this once before, so bear with me and tell me if you're not comfortable with something I do, okay?"

"Okay, but I don't know how much longer I'll last…"

"Just let me know before you, ah…well, you know," Lance said before running a finger along Keith's hard length.

Keith hissed and bucked his hips. "Lance!"

"Mmm…" Lance unbuttoned Keith's trousers and stood and pulled them off his hips and all the way off. He dove between the other's legs again, kissing his thighs, then the skin above Keith's boxers. Taking Keith's length in his hand through his boxers, Lance ran his fingers up and down a couple times.

"Lance, oh gods…I…nnggg…" Keith gripped the sheets, his knuckles white.

Lance smiled as Keith came undone under his touch. He slowly drew Keith's boxers over his erection, down to his thighs. Lance licked from his balls to the tip of his cock, swirling his tongue at the end. Keith thrashed and groaned as Lance placed a hand on his abdomen, calming him. Keith grabbed the hand and entwined his fingers. Lance looked up, and Keith was looking at him. He squeezed Keith's hand and gave him a smile.

"Hang on to me, Keith. I've got you,"

Keith nodded, too turned on to say anything.

Lance took the head of the erection in his mouth, and Keith threw his head back and let out a silent cry of passion. Lance ran his tongue over the head then took more of Keith in, loving the feeling of being full of his friend.

"Lance, Lance, Lance," Keith's grip on Lance's hand tightened as he chanted his name.

Lance slid off Keith's erection with a 'pop' and looked up at him. His hair was thoroughly disheveled, and desire flashed in his eyes as Keith watched Lance take in his cock again. They held eye contact as Lance started an erotic rhythm.

"Lance…I-…" Keith was on a knives edge of desire, his body poised to go over. He felt so good, what Lance was doing felt so good, he didn't want it to end. Lance's warm mouth, his hand tangled with Lance's, he was surrounded by Lance.

But Lance suddenly pulled off and replaced his mouth with his hand as he crawled up Keith's overheated body.

"What…what are you doing?"

Keith never got the whole sentence out before Lance kissed him, the saltiness and the taste of himself were overwhelming.

"I want to come with you," Lance said when he pulled away. "I want to watch you and, if you can handle it, I want you to watch me."

Lance's presence was almost too much. Somehow, Keith was able to nod his head, and Lance replaced his hand on Keith's erection with Keith's hand and stood and took off his jeans and pants. He drew Keith's boxers off. Then carefully crawled onto the bed and straddled Keith's hips, taking his and the other's erection in his hand, all while maintaining eye contact. They both winced at the dry skin and each spit in their hands; it wasn't perfect, but it was all they had at the moment.

When they were as slick as they could get, Lance took them both in his hand and moved his hips and hand, lighting both of their desires again. Keith panted and placed a hand on Lance's thigh, grounding himself. Lance placed his hand over Keith's, trying hard to stave off his orgasm. He bent forward, putting all his body weight on his left hand as he kept the rhythm with his right, and kissed Keith.

"I can't hold on for much longer, Lance," Keith said when they pulled apart, and Lance rested his forehead on Keith's.

"I…me neither," Lance kissed Keith again before Keith parted and his whole body trembled.

"Lance, oh gods, Lance…please don't stop," Keith threw his head back, and Lance could feel his orgasm pulsing through his erection, prompting his own as he nuzzled Keith's neck, trying hard not to lose the rhythm he established, all while chanting Keith's name. Lance grunted, and with one last stroke, the final vestiges of his orgasm died away.

He hadn't meant to lean all his body weight on Keith, but when the dark-haired boy wrapped his arms around him, Lance couldn't help himself. Keith shivered and wrapped his legs around Lance, forgetting where he ended and where Lance began.

"Keith," Lance said a few minutes later. He didn't want to spoil the mood, but he also wanted to make sure his friend was okay. He pushed his upper body off the other. "Keith, are you alright?"

Keith took a couple of deep breaths and opened his eyes, happy to see that Lance wasn't just a dream.

"Lance," he gasped as he brought his hands up to Lance's face, feeling the warmth there. "Lance you're not a dream,"

"Not that I'm aware of?" Lance furrowed his brow. "You sure you're okay?"

"You're here," Keith pulled him in for a toe-curling kiss, then pulled away again. "You're here, that's all that matters."

"Keith, I…" Lance paused as he pulled away from Keith, the come sticking to their skin becoming problematic. "Let's get cleaned up and talk."

Lance stood and held his hand out and pulled Keith to his feet, leading him to his shower. Lance turned on the water and brought it to a suitable temperature as Keith leaned on the sink and looked at himself in the mirror. He traced his scar with his finger, and flashbacks to the fight he had with Shiro came into his head unbidden. He hissed and gripped the sink, feeling the planet tilt beneath his feet. A loud rushing noise invaded his brain and Keith grit his teeth.

"Keith, Keith!" Lance rubbed Keith's back, trying to bring the man back from his own mind.

Keith suddenly lurched for the toilet and retched whatever was in his stomach. Lance grabbed a washcloth and ran it under cold water, placing it on the back of Keith's neck. He pulled Keith's hair back away from his face.

When Keith was finished, he pushed himself away from the toilet and sat, his back against the wall. Lance knelt next to him, wiping his forehead with the cool cloth.

"Keith?" Lance said softly.

Keith groaned. "I'm sorry Lance. I…it was a panic attack. I'll be fine in a minute."

"That seemed like more than a panic attack," Lance placed a hand on Keith's arm.

"It's something…something that I'm not ready to talk about, yet," Keith said as he opened his eyes and looked over at Lance. "Please, understand it's not you."

"I understand," Lance said. "Whenever you are ready, I will be here for you."

"I'd kiss you, but…you know," Keith gestured at his mouth. Lance laughed at him and hugged him before standing. He held out his hand.

"I have mouthwash," Lance said as Keith took his hand. As soon as he stood, Keith wrapped his arms around Lance's waist, pulling them together, holding on as if Lance was going to disappear. Lance did the same and nuzzled Keith's neck.

"Did you get the shower to a decent temperature?" Keith murmured into Lance's neck.

"Yes, of course," Lance unwound himself reluctantly from Keith. He turned and grabbed the mouthwash from his medicine cabinet and handed it to Keith who kissed him on the cheek.

Lance stepped into the shower and rinsed himself as Keith swished the mouthwash. Refusing to look in the mirror, he spat into the sink and wiped his mouth. He stepped into the shower and chuckled at Lance who had a pouf all soaped up, waiting for him. Keith crossed his arms.

"I can wash myself, thanks,"

"Uh-huh, I know," Lance raised a brow as he grabbed one of Keith's arms and tugged to uncross them. Keith, unable to help himself, shook his head and uncrossed his arms.

"Thank you," Lance said as he rubbed the soapy pouf over Keith's chest in lazy circles. He grabbed Keith's arm and held it out, repeating the action on both arms and then on his back. Lance rubbed over his butt, then down his legs, then turning Keith's back to the water to rinse off as Lance washed his front side. He paid particular attention to Keith's abdomen where it was especially sticky.

"Feeling better?" Lance asked as he rested his arms on Keith's shoulders and rinsed off the pouf.

"I am, thank you," Keith glanced down at Lance's mouth, unable to help himself, he leaned in and kissed Lance, softly and gently at first, then building; Keith pouring all his want and desire for Lance into the kiss. Lance weaved his hand into Keith's hair, stepping closer as their bodies responded to their passion for the other, neither in a hurry to do anything about it.

Lance was the first to pull away, needing to breathe. He scanned Keith's face with his curious blue eyes, running his fingers tenderly over Keith's brow. Lance had so much to say to Keith; that he would have crossed the universe to find him and Shiro, that he wished he could take all of Keith's pain away, so he could be in peace. But Lance knew all that would push Keith away, so he stayed silent, letting the water wash away their worries temporarily.

"You look like you have a Tolstoy novel's worth of stuff you want to tell me," Keith said, bringing his hands up to run his thumbs along Lance's cheekbones.

"I do…it's just…not the right time,"

Keith's eyebrows almost disappeared into his hairline. "Not the right time? This coming from the guy who always speaks his mind!"

Keith smirked, and Lance laughed and shook his head. Keith couldn't remember the last time he heard Lance laugh and he wanted to hear more. Instead, he kissed Lance again, unable to get enough of the man's lush mouth. Keith tipped Lance's head just enough so he could access his neck and nibbled and kissed his way to Lance's shoulders and chest. He pinched a nipple, and Lance's body shivered with pleasure. Keith licked and sucked the other then kissed his way lazily over his abdomen, his hands memorizing Lance's body. He ran his hand over Lance's hip and down his thigh as he knelt.

"Ah…Keith," Lance gasped. "What are you doing?"

"Returning the favor," Keith smirked as he ran his nose around Lance's now excited cock.

"You don't have to do that,"

"But, I want to,"

Lance looked down at Keith just as he took the head of his cock into his mouth. Lance wasn't sure he had seen anything sexier than the scene in front of him, and his knees threatened to give out on him. With the hot water beating down on his chest and Keith's warm mouth on his cock, he wasn't sure how long he would last.

"Is this…am I your first?" Lance asked when Keith popped off for air.

"Oh, am I not-…" Keith sat back on his heels, disappointment evident on his face.

Lance placed his hands on Keith's face. "Oh god, no, you're perfect, I just thought…if you weren't comfortable…"

"I want to do this," Keith said.

"Okay then," Lance nodded as he ran a thumb over Keith's mouth. He replaced his thumb with his mouth. "I could kiss your mouth all day. I want all of you."

Lance straightened and adjusted the temperature on the water.

As soon as Keith's mouth was on his cock, Lance threaded his hands through his hair, resisting the urge to push Keith into taking more in.

Keith played on what he liked and grabbed the base of Lance's cock and started a rhythm that made Lance grunt. He let his hand wander; cupping Lance's balls, wandering up over his abdomen and down over his hip, then back to his ass, which he grabbed a handful of.

"Keith!" Lance involuntarily bucked his hips, forcing more of his cock down Keith's throat. He pulled away coughing and laughing. "Oh, Keith, I'm sorry. It's just that…"

"It's okay, Lance," Keith said between coughs. "I'm fine."

"Okay, good," Lance sighed and leaned back against the shower wall. Keith leaned forward and carefully grabbed Lance's cock and lifted it, licking from the balls to the tip, then taking it in as far as he could. Lance made an indistinct noise, and Keith bobbed his head. Grabbing his own cock, Keith matched the rhythms and soon found himself on edge again.

"Keith…Keith I'm going to…" Lance pushed Keith off and grabbed his erection, finishing himself off. Keith kept himself in the splash zone and groaned loudly when his own orgasm flooded through him.

The feeling came back slowly to all of Lance's limbs as he regulated his breathing. He looked down at Keith who was rinsing his face and chest. When Keith was finished, Lance bent down and kissed Keith as he stood. He wrapped his arms around Lance and shivered when the water started to turn cold. Lance pulled himself away and shut the water off. Kissing Keith one more time, he stepped out of the shower and grabbed two towels, wrapping Keith in one and drying himself in the other.

"You can stay with me tonight," Lance said as he dried the rest of Keith.

"I would like that, thank you," Keith said as he watched Lance hang the towels. He grabbed Keith's hand and led him out to the bed telling him to sit. He walked over to the dresser and pulled out two pairs of boxers and handed one to Keith.

"I…don't…" Keith started.

"They're clean, princess,"

"I know, I don't need them, I usually just sleep naked,"

Lance swallowed and stopped with his leg in mid-air.

"Um,"

Keith snickered, something that Lance had never heard him do before.

"I'm kidding," Keith started laughing as he pulled on the boxers.

Lance finished pulling his on and watched as Keith fell back on the bed laughing hysterically. He hadn't heard Keith laugh so hard in a long time and smiled. Lance walked over and sat next to the dark-haired man, then laid back.

"You should have seen your face," Keith had calmed.

"It's just good to hear you laughing," Lance said as he looked over at Keith, who was looking at him.

"It felt good to laugh, thank you,"

"Should we get under the covers and snug?" Lance said as he stood. Keith stood with him and watched as he turned down the bed. They each got in, and as soon as Lance settled the covers over them, Keith snuggled into Lance, throwing a leg over his leg and an arm over Lance's torso. Lance smiled and wrapped an arm around Keith, kissing his temple.

"Thank you, Lance," Keith said into Lance's neck. "For everything."

"Of course. Isn't that what friends are for?"

"You're here, beside me, that's all that matters right now," Keith mumbled before falling into one of the deepest nights of sleep he had in a long time.

* * *

'I have courage on my side  
And strength within my soul  
But I've never felt like this  
As want is growing cold  
Will you stay with me a while  
I think I'm going deeper?  
Have I overrun my time  
Or is my number up?'

 **Far Beyond  
**  
 _~Lyrics by Dexter French~_


	5. Hold Me

**Chapter Five: Hold Me**

Lance woke to a cold bed. He wasn't sure what he was expecting; maybe waking up to a sleepy, bedhead Keith was too much to hope for. He stretched out his arm toward the side that Keith had fallen asleep on, and found it cool to the touch. Keith had been gone for a while. Lance turned onto his back and frowned; thinking about everything that happened the previous evening had Lance's head spinning. In all his (limited) sexual experiences, Lance had never felt anything as intense as he had with Keith. He wanted more; more of Keith's skin, of his lips, of his hands – more of everything of Keith's.

Lance sighed and rolled over onto his back, letting his hands trail over his body where Keith had touched him. He had it bad, and he hoped Keith felt the same.

Lance finally swung his legs over the side of the bed and pattered into his shower. He smiled to himself thinking about how many times he had taken a shower since arriving on Olkarian, not knowing when he'd shower again after leaving.

As he was drying, Lance spotted Keith's red jacket peeking out from under his own.

' _Huh,'_ Lance thought to himself. _'He must have left in a hurry. He would never forget his jacket.'_

Lance finished his morning routine, grabbed Keith's jacket and walked across the hall. After receiving no answer from Keith's room, Lance decided to leave the coat in his room until Keith asked for it.

Lance was greeted by his fellow paladins, minus Keith, around the kitchen table. Breakfast smelled good, and his tummy rumbled.

"Good morning, Lance," Allura said, smiling. "How are you this morning?"

"Just as handsome as ever, Allura, thank you for asking," Lance winked at her and made finger guns. Allura just chuckled, Pidge and Hunk rolled their eyes, and Coran was too busy reading something on the tablet in front of him. "Smells good. Hunk did you make breakfast?"

"Of course," Hunk said as he stood. "Sit down and let me serve you, my friend."

"Aw, Hunk. You are a real sweetheart, you know that?"

Hunk shook his head as he scooped breakfast onto a plate for Lance.

"You guys seen Keith this morning?"

"Yeah, he said he was going to visit Shiro, then go to the training annex," Pidge said after taking a drink.

"Hmm…" Lance tapped his fingers on the table.

"Everything alright?" Allura asked. "I heard that Shiro finally woke up yesterday, but he doesn't remember much."

"Yeah, you and Coran should go see him today. I'm sure he's tired of mine and Keith's faces," Hunk set the plate down in front of Lance. "Thanks, buddy."

"Hey, Lance," Pidge started. "Hunk and I found another Balmara Planet nearby, do you want to come with us to collect crystals? I asked Keith, but he only gave me a grumpy grunt."

Lance started to say no, but maybe that was what he needed – to get away from Keith and Shiro for a little while and bond again with Hunk and Pidge. Perhaps it will give them the time they need to think things over.

"Yeah, I think I would like to join you guys," Lance said before taking a bite. "When are you going?"

"Probably not until next week," Pidge started.

"The Olkari are letting us borrow one of their ships so we can conserve power on the Lions," Hunk finished.

"They are finishing repairs on it as we speak," Pidge said.

Lance nodded as he pushed the food around on his plate, thinking about his evening with Keith.

"Are you sure you're alright, Lance?" Allura asked as she placed a hand on his shoulder. He leaned into the touch as he looked over at her.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Lance sighed.

"Are you thinking about Shiro? Because he's strong, he's going to be okay. He's got to be – he has to lead our bunch of misfits," Allura elbowed him as Lance chuckled.

"I'm just thinking about how lucky I am to have all the Paladins as my friends, along with you and Coran. Thank you, Allura," Lance smiled at her. "For everything."

"You're welcome," Allura placed a hand on his cheek and Lance placed his hand over hers, leaning into her touch. "Anytime you need to talk to anyone, I will be here for you, okay?"

Lance nodded and looked down at his plate, swallowing the lump in his throat.

Allura stood and put her hands on Lance's shoulders and kissed him on the top of his head before she walked over to the sink to rinse her dish. Her and Coran chatted with their heads down about something on the tablet Coran held as they left the room.

An overwhelming sense of homesickness washed over Lance; his meemaw would kiss him on the top of his head whenever he was sick. He squeezed his eyes shut and bit his lip. Lance kept his head down so no one could see the tear running down his cheek.

"Thank you, Hunk," Lance said as he stood and ran out of the kitchen. Pidge and Hunk looked at each other and shrugged.

* * *

Lance found himself in Shiro's room again. The blinds were drawn, and the sun shone on Shiro's face. His color was better than yesterday, and he looked peaceful in sleep. Lance walked over to the side of Shiro's bed and knelt like he did the day before.

"I can't wait for you to get well," Lance whispered as he ran his fingertips gently over Shiro's cheek. "Not only because you'll lead us again, but we can start our trek home to earth. I miss my family, Shiro, a lot. Do you have someone you think about? I wonder about that all the time."

"Lance?" Shiro's voice was rough with sleep.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you," Lance started to pull his hand back, but Shiro grasped his wrist and nuzzled Lance's hand.

"S'ok," Shiro mumbled. "I needed to wake up. That's all I've been doing is sleeping."

Shiro hummed as he rubbed Lance's hand over his face.

"Uh, Shiro?" Lance started to pull his hand away, but Shiro had a tight grip on his wrist. Lance relaxed as he let Shiro do his thing. "Are you okay?"

Shiro nodded.

"I do have someone I think about," Shiro opened his eyes and the warmth there was belied by the sadness in his voice. "But he probably doesn't think of me. I left him back on Earth, and…"

Shiro furrowed his brow trying to remember why he had left Adam in the first place.

"Go on," Lance said after a long moment. Shiro had let go of Lance's hand finally, but Lance kept his hand on the side of his face, tracing the man's cheekbones and jawline.

"I-I…don't remember,"

"Well, okay," Lance pulled his hand back and ran it through his hair. "Um, let's talk about something else, then."

"No, I need to remember," Shiro sat up and placed a hand on his head.

Lance got up off his knees and sat next to Shiro. "So, um, who did we leave back on Earth…James? Adam? Veronica?"

"A-Adam," Shiro bit his lip to stop the tears that were threatening to fall. "I left Adam to go on the Kerberos mission. He gave me an ultimatum."

"I'm sorry, Shiro," Lance placed a hand on Shiro's leg.

Shiro looked up at Lance and Lance was struck to his core at the pain in the other man's grey eyes. They reminded Lance of a dreary, rainy Autumn afternoon he spent crying over the C he received in Math. He knew he was better than that, Lance just couldn't get a hold of the theories.

Lance shook his head. "I should get the doctors…"

Shiro grabbed Lance's wrist again as he stood.

"No, don't…don't leave. I can't be alone right now," Shiro's voice wavered.

Lance furrowed his brow, genuine concern on his face.

"Shiro," Lance sat down and brought his arm up between them. "Shiro, you're hurting my wrist."

"Oh, gods, I'm sorry Lance,"

"N-No it's…it's okay-…" Lance gasped as Shiro placed a soft kiss on the inside of Lance's wrist. Lance felt himself start to tremble.

"I don't ever want to hurt you, or any of the Paladins," Shiro looked up at Lance through his dark lashes and Lance gasped at the powerful desire in his friend's eyes.

"Y-You…you could never h-hurt any of us, Shiro," Lance swallowed hard as Shiro pulled Lance to him. "Sh-Shiro…I don't think…I don't think this is a good idea…"

"Lance…I need…I want to kiss you, Lance. May I kiss you?"

Before Lance could answer, Shiro's lips were on his, soft and passionate. Lance couldn't help himself when he parted his own lips to let Shiro in, feeling the other's tongue run slowly over his, wondering if Shiro did other things with as much intensity . If anyone had asked, Lance wouldn't deny any attraction he had toward Shiro, but he never thought about pursuing anything.

Lance was about to run his hands through Shiro's hair when a small noise from Shiro, brought him from his lusty stupor. Lance placed his hands on Shiro's shoulders and lightly pushed the other man away.

Both men were breathless and blushing when they parted. Lance blinked at Shiro, his eyes traveling to his mouth which was red and wet from kissing.

"Lance, I…Oh gods, I'm so sorry," Shiro wrapped his arm around Lance's shoulders and buried his face in Lance's neck.

"It's…okay, Shiro, really," Lance placed a hand on the back of Shiro's head, feeling the soft hair there growing back from its buzz cut. "It's just…completely unexpected."

They pulled away, and Lance wiped the tears off Shiro's cheeks. Shiro nuzzled his hand.

"I feel like I've been touch starved,"

If Lance hadn't been close to Shiro, he wouldn't have heard him.

"I don't understand," Lance said.

"Your touch and your sitting near me, it feels like millennia since I've known any gentle touch or gesture," Shiro closed his eyes and sighed, still holding on to Lance's hand.

Lance gaped at Shiro. He thought about all the hugs that Shiro and the team had shared, about all the small touches that he and Allura had been sharing, about Keith's touch that still left Lance's skin searing. Lance suddenly wanted to show Shiro all the places that Keith touched and give Shiro all of his contact. However, he knew this was the most inappropriate place and time, and somehow Lance gathered himself.

"Shiro, I-…"

"Good morning, sleepyhead," Doctor Presscott said as they entered the room. "And Lance,"

Lance stood and shoved his hands in his pockets and Shiro straightened as he stretched his legs. Presscott continued. "I looked in on you earlier, and you were deep in sleep. Which is exactly what you needed."

"I'll go and-…" Lance started.

"Nope!" Presscott held up a hand. "You, my friend, are going to accompany Shiro on a walkabout today."

"A walkabout?" Shiro asked.

"I…accompany…?" Lance asked at the same time.

"Is there a problem? Aren't you two friends and fellow Paladins?" Prescott raised an eyebrow at both.

"Ah…yes, it's fine," Lance said as he walked back over to Shiro.

"Good," Prescott made some notes on Shiro's chart before putting it back on the hook on the end of the bed. "Some fresh air and exercise will do you good, young man. Can you stand?"

Lance stepped back as Shiro swung his long legs over the edge of the bed. He took several tries before his legs would hold him steady, but Shiro finally found his balance.

"Very good. Lance if you will escort Shiro into the bathroom, he can shower and take care of other things," Prescott smiled. "I am off shift now, but Raynar knows how to get a hold of me if you need anything."

"Thank you," Shiro and Lance said at the same time as Prescott exited the room.

"Um, here," Lance held out his elbow as Shiro placed his hand on the other's shoulder. "Oh, okay that works too,"

Shiro chuckled as Lance moved forward and guided his friend to the restroom. They went about in silence, Lance averting his eyes as Shiro undressed and stepped into the shower.

"Lance, about what happened earlier…" Shiro started. "I'm sorry if-…"

"It's okay, Shiro, a lot is going on, and I'm sure everyone's emotions are all over the place," Lance's fingers went unconsciously to his lips as he rubbed them, thinking about the kiss he shared with Shiro. He thought about what he and Keith shared last night, and Lance compared that to Shiro's kiss – the feeling and desire were so potent in both, that Lance was suddenly struck with an overwhelming urge to scream. Was it possible to have such strong feelings for two people?

Lance bent over with his head between his legs and tried to get his breathing under control. He hadn't had a panic attack since he was a little kid and Lance was a bit amused about how his body just naturally handled it.

"Lance? Lance are you still out there?" Shiro's voice brought Lance from the last vestiges of his panic attack.

"Yeah, sorry, I was thinking about-…things…" Lance's hand went to his mouth again.

Shiro chuckled. "Well, can you hand me my towel, please?"

"Hmm…towel…oh yeah," Lance grabbed his towel and handed it to Shiro.

"So, you probably didn't hear me suggest that we go bungee jumping off the tallest Olkari building?" The amusement in Shiro's voice was lost on Lance.

"No I-…wait what!?"

"Hand me my clothes, please," Shiro tried his hardest not to laugh. "We'll talk about what happened when you are more present."

"No, no, I'm sorry, Shiro," Lance said as he handed Shiro his clothes. Shiro grabbed them and handed Lance the towel. "It was good, I just…there's something-…"

"Lance, it's okay," Shiro said. "I kinda pushed myself on you, and I absolutely did not mean to do that, and I apologize."

Lance blinked. If Shiro only knew his dilemma, what would he say?

"I actually enjoyed it," Lance said quietly, looking down at his hands.

"What?" Shiro asked as he pushed back the shower curtain. He was fully dressed in loose pants and an Olkairan shirt that was a bit too big for him. But he looked the best that Lance had seen him in quite a while. He opened his mouth, then closed it again.

"I…nothing," Lance cleared his throat and looked away, hating that he was blushing. "You look good. Feeling better?"

Shiro furrowed his brow as he walked, gingerly, on his own out of the bathroom. Lance caught up with him.

"I am," Shiro answered as he sat on the loveseat. "I think that's the first proper shower I've had since being in here."

Lance raised his brows.

"I think there's been a nurse in here giving me sponge baths," Shiro smirked. "Will you hand me my shoes, please?"

Lance, for the thousandth time that day, blushed as he thought about Shiro getting a sponge bath. He turned quickly as his mind wandered to himself giving the other a sponge bath. Lance knelt, keeping his red face turned away from Shiro, as he helped the man with his shoes.

"Are you ready for this walkabout?" Lance asked, trying to keep his mind out of the gutter.

Shiro squared his shoulders and smiled warmly at Lance. "You bet."

They walked out of the building and into the warm Olkarian sunshine, and Shiro paused. Lance looked at the man expectantly as he raised his face to the sky and closed his eyes. Shiro drew in a deep breath.

"There's a small part of me that thought I would never do this again," Shiro said before Lance could speak.

"Do…what?"

"Walk in sunshine…on any planet," Shiro's face was full of peace, but Lance could see a hint of sadness in his eyes.

"I'm glad you are here," Lance held out his hand, and Shiro took it and squeezed.

"Let's get going before we are accused of not walking," Shiro smirked, and Lance hesitantly let go of his hand.

They walked for a half an hour before running into Coran, Allura, and Romelle.

"Ah, Shiro," Coran said as he played with his mustache. "You are looking better."

"How are you feeling, Shiro?" Allura asked.

"Better than I have in a long time," Shiro said as he looked questioningly at Romelle. "Are you…another Altean?"

Everyone paused for a second, glancing at Lance who filled in the silence.

"Yes, Shiro, this is Romelle, Romelle, Shiro," Lance gestured between them. "I will fill you in later."

"Well, it's very nice to meet you, Romelle," Shiro smiled brightly as he shook Romelle's hand.

"Likewise," she said as she returned his smile.

They made small talk for a few minutes until Coran mentioned the expedition to the nearby Balmaran planet.

"Oh, that sounds promising," Shiro said. "Who's all going?"

"Hunk, Pidge, and Lance and Allura and I," Coran answered.

"Not Keith?" Shiro furrowed his brow.

"We asked him," Allura said. "But he just gave a grumpy huff this morning."

"Hmm…well, I hope you guys can get the crystals we need, I'm anxious to get home, to Earth," Shiro said.

"Yes, I think everyone is," Allura elbowed Lance, as he pouted and looked away. "Anyway, we should let you guys finish your walkabout."

They said their goodbyes and walked in their separate directions.

"Lance, what else have I missed?" Shiro asked as soon as the others were out of earshot.

When Lance looked at Shiro, the fear in his eyes was palpable.

"I-I don't know. What is the last thing you remember?"

Shiro stopped, and the blank look on his face scared Lance.

"I-I'm not sure," he groaned and rubbed his face with his hand. "Gods this is so frustrating."

"Maybe we should head back to the hospital," Lance placed a hand on the other's shoulder.

Shiro nodded, and they turned and walked solemnly back to the hospital.

* * *

"Listen to the hum, of silence coming closer  
Feel your every breath, nothings meant to last forever  
It's only you and me there, till the darkness calls"

 **Hold Me**  
by the Sweeplings


	6. Gravity of You

_"Our memory is a more perfect world than the universe: it gives back life to those who no longer exist."_  
 _― Guy de Maupassant_

* * *

 **Chapter Six** :

Keith wasn't sure what woke him. He had been sleeping soundly when his body jerked him awake. His limbs were tangled with someone else's, and he was the most comfortable he had been in a long time. Keith looked up at the face of the body he was tangled with, and a strangled noise came out of his throat as he panicked for a second. Lance was sound asleep, a bit of drool coming out of the corner of his mouth. Keith drew in a deep breath and thought back to the previous evening's events and a small smile came upon his face. His imagination took over, wondering what it would feel like to have Lance inside him as he moved slowly, all while they kissed and touched and watched each other. Keith felt the blood rush to his cheeks and mid-section.

Keith shook his head as Lance snorted and turned over, his legs still tangled with Keith's. Keith wanted nothing more than to snuggle up against Lance's back, kiss him along his hairline, nibble at where his shoulder meets his neck. Instead, he traced the muscles along Lance's shoulders and upper arms with his finger. Keith wondered when Lance had become so fit.

Did he think about Lance the whole time he was in the Quantum abyss? Lance did occupy a good portion of his thoughts. Shiro took the other part, which left Keith in a conundrum – he still gets goosebumps whenever Shiro shows him any type of affection, even though he thinks of Shiro as a brother. But he also gets butterflies whenever he hears Lance's laugh or his stupid comments; was it possible to have these feelings for two people at the same time? Keith found it perplexing that he could have feelings even for one person.

Keith sighed and turned over onto his back. He glanced over at the window and saw through the small opening in the curtains that the Olkarion sun was going to rise at any second. He had told his mother that he would meet her early today in the training annex – maybe he could get in some practice with the drones before that.

Knowing he wouldn't be able to fall back asleep, Keith planted a kiss on Lance's shoulder and rolled out of bed. He found most of his clothes, except for his jacket – _where was that damned thing?_ Keith decided to give up on the search for his coat and threw on his clothes and tip-toed out of Lance's room and into his bedroom. He took a quick shower, the events of last night's romp evident on his hips where Lance gripped him hard. Throwing on clean clothes, he ran his hands through his unruly dark hair and ran out of his room to the common room to grab something to eat. It was still early, and no one was in there as Keith dug in the fridge for the snacks that Hunk had made for their excursion to see the meteor shower the previous evening.

* * *

Keith opened the door to the training annex and found himself jumping at every little noise. There weren't very many Olkarions out and about; he hadn't realized the Olkari were not early morning aliens. He also had to remind himself that this was not Earth – things didn't run the same here.

As Keith finished eating, he set the drones for level five. It proved to be enough to keep him challenged until his mother joined him.

"Good, but you need to keep your elbow in and your stance a tad bit narrower," Krolia said after observing her son for a few minutes.

"Geez, mother!" Keith started when he heard her. "Stop simulation."

The drones powered down as Keith walked over to her and they hugged.

Keith brought out his blade and donned the same armor that he and Lance had worn the night before. Krolia did the same and found the sword that she had left the previous evening.

"Where did you find that blade?" Keith asked after parrying for a few minutes.

"I went on a hike around the City, doing a little recon," Krolia started as she blocked Keith's parry. "And I found a cave that housed some of the Blade of Marmora. It was abandoned, and when I asked around about it, the Olkari were not forthcoming with their information."

Krolia and Keith did some fancy footwork against each other, then took a break.

"Was it because they thought you were Galra?" Keith asked before taking a drink of his water.

"I thought that too," Krolia wiped her face with a towel. "but when I inquired in the city, the Olkari weren't as wary of me. But none gave me a straight answer."

Keith furrowed his brow. "That doesn't sound right."

"Well, it seems they are afraid of something more powerful and darker than the Galra, but they won't say anything more." Krolia took a drink of her water. "Does Shiro remember anything?"

Keith shook his head. Krolia could see the sadness in his eyes. "No, he doesn't."

"I'm sorry, Keith. I'm sure he'll come around soon," Krolia said as she placed a hand on his shoulder. He gave her a small smile, and she pulled him in for a hug. Keith squeezed his eyes shut, trying to hold back the tears that threatened to fall. Having his mother here with him was a relief, more than Keith expected. She was honest and loyal, and Keith found that he could trust her with his deepest, darkest secrets. He suspected it was mostly because she was his mother, but Keith knew Krolia was a good person.

"Listen, why don't we practice some more, then have some lunch and we can go visit Shiro, how does that sound?" She smiled at him.

"That sounds perfect, mom," Keith smiled back at her. Krolia placed her hand on his right cheek, gently rubbing her thumb over the scar. "Are you ever going to tell me how you got this?"

"I will eventually. I'm not ready to talk about what happened," Keith looked down. "I haven't even told Shiro yet. I'm afraid of his reaction."

"Hmm…that's probably for the best," Krolia paused. "You love him, don't you?"

"Like a brother, yes,"

Krolia slipped her hand under his chin and forced him to look her in the eye.

"No, it's more, but you're afraid…" She furrowed her brow. "…afraid of losing him and losing your friends."

"I-I…maybe…but…" Keith paused. He hated that this woman, who even though they've only known each other for a couple years, had him unraveled in two ticks. "But I can't tell him how I feel, it would destroy him and our friendship. He has someone, A-Adam, back on Earth and I don't want to ruin that."

"You get that from your father – that undying loyalty. I suppose some of it came from me as well," Krolia let go of her son's chin. "You also get your lack of trust from me. I can tell you though, when I first laid eyes on your father, I thought he was the strangest looking alien I'd seen in a while. But he was handsome at the same time. I just thought it was my imagination going overboard – this human male rescues me, so he's automatically cute – I don't give out my heart so easily. But this man, he was the whole package, and I'm glad I let my heart guide me instead of my head."

Keith frowned.

"I guess what I'm trying to say," she paused. "Whenever you are struggling with matters of the heart, it's best to listen to your heart. I'm not saying to pursue anything with Shiro, especially with the state he's in, but the chance to tell him how you feel is going to slip from your fingers, and you're going to regret it. Who's to say Adam is going to be there when he gets back, anyway?"

Keith bit his lip as he looked down at his boots. "Adam…Adam didn't want him to go on the Kerberos Mission. But he came to me one evening after Shiro left and told me how proud he was of Shiro and how he didn't get to express that to him. He even told me how proud he was of me and how I flourished under Shiro's tutelage. So, I vowed from then that if I ever saw Shiro again, I would keep my feelings for him under wraps."

The side of Krolia's mouth tugged up into a smile as she brought her son into a tight embrace. "You are impossible, son of mine. You have so much to give. I hope you find someone whose heart is as big as yours and knows what they have when you give your heart away."

He returned the embrace and sighed, thinking about Lance. Was his heart big enough to give to Lance and Shiro? And would they even want it?

"Alright, enough of this," Krolia said as she gently pushed him away. "Let's practice some more."

"Sounds good to me," Keith said as he grabbed his blade and walked into the practice ring.

* * *

Two hours later, Keith and Krolia were walking down the hospital hallway, when Keith saw Lance stepping out of Shiro's room and to the receptionist's desk.

"Hey, what's going on?" Keith said after catching up with Lance.

"I need to get a hold of Doctor Presscott," Lance rubbed the back of his neck. "Hello, Krolia."

"Hello, Lance," she nodded and stepped away to peek into Shiro's room.

"What's wrong? Did something happen?" Keith placed a hand on Lance's shoulder.

"Shiro's memory…is worse than we thought," Lance looked away.

"What…what do you mean?"

"He doesn't remember Romelle," Lance looked back at Keith who shook his head. "Shiro and I had encountered Romelle and Coran and Allura on a walk that the doctor had suggested. He just looked at Romelle with no recognition at all."

"It might be just his brain protecting him from himself," Krolia said as she stepped back into the conversation. "What did you call it Keith, PST…something…"

"PTSD and yeah, it might just be his brain protecting him from the memories. It wasn't long after he met Romelle that he was attacked by Haggar," Keith said as he peeked into Shiro's room.

"Lance?" The receptionist asked as Lance turned. She held out a com device. "Doctor Presscott for you."

"Thank you," he said as he took the device. Lance turned away to get some privacy to talk to the Doctor.

Krolia crossed her arm across her midsection as she tapped her chin thoughtfully with her other hand. "Do you think Shiro will remember me?"

"I don't know?" Keith said slowly. "I guess we can test this theory about his brain."

He turned to Lance and told him to hold off telling the Doctor the whole situation. Lance put them on speaker and Keith explained that Krolia was introduced at the same time Romelle was and if he doesn't remember Krolia, then that could be a sign of PTSD and not long-term memory loss. Presscott agreed with the assessment and Lance lingered outside Shiro's room as Keith and Krolia walked inside.

Shiro was sitting on the edge of his bed, staring at his hand as he flexed it, a sad look on his face.

"Shiro?"

"Keith," Shiro's face lit up like a lantern when he saw Keith. A small smile crossed Krolia's face. "It's good to see you again."

"It's good to see you too," Keith gestured to his mother. "Shiro, do you remember my mother, Krolia?"

Shiro's eyebrows shot up to his hairline as he held his hand out to her. "But your mother…"

"It's a long story that we will fill you in on," Krolia said as she shook Shiro's hand. "It's nice to finally meet the man that took a chance on Keith. Thank you for taking safe care of my boy."

Keith blushed and looked back toward the door. He gave a subtle shake of his head to Lance.

"It was my privilege and pleasure, ma'am. Keith started out as a wild child, but I saw his potential. I knew he could become a good man." Shiro's smile was broad as he clapped Keith on the shoulder. Keith's face flushed again as Shiro and Krolia laughed at him.

"He probably gets the wild streak from me," Krolia said. Keith bowed gracefully out of the conversation and walked out to find Lance finishing up his discussion with Presscott.

The sadness in Lance's eyes was palpable when he looked up at Keith. Keith swallowed hard as he held his arms out for Lance. Lance all but fell into them, a sob escaping his lips as he nuzzled Keith's neck. They held each other, safe in their little cocoon until Keith softly stepped away and kept the other at arm's length.

"What did Presscott say?"

"They aren't sure what to do," Lance said as he sniffed. "They said the Olkari don't experience anything like this, and if they do, again it's sleep that the Doctor recommends, and when they are ready to talk, a loved one is there for them. I told her that there are therapists that deal with these kinds of situations on Earth. They asked what a therapist was and in the back of my mind, I laughed. I wish I didn't know what a therapist was."

Lance sighed and looked down at his shoes, missing the incredulous look that Keith gave him.

"Lance, what would you need therapy for?" Keith asked as he slipped a finger under Lance's chin, forcing the other to look him in the eye.

"It's a long stupid story that you'll just laugh at me for. Let's focus on Shiro."

"I wouldn't laugh at you for seeing a therapist. We all have our demons,"

They looked at each other for a minute before Keith let go of his chin. He glanced around, then gave Lance a kiss on his cheek. Lance's eyes went wide as saucers as a dopey grin came over his face.

Keith shook his head. "You're such an idiot."

"But an adorable, idiot, am I right?" Lance winked as Keith smirked at him.

"Let's get back in the room before my mom gives Shiro the third degree."

* * *

They stayed and chatted with Shiro for a couple hours until a Doctor came in and said she was going to do some routine tests on Shiro and against their best interests, they agreed to leave Shiro alone for the next hour.

"I'm going to try to find everyone and apprise them of Shiro's situation," Lance started.

"We will help you," Keith said, glancing over at Krolia. "Mom has some information, small as it may be, it might be important."

Lance looked over at Krolia with a concerned look on his face. "Okay, this doesn't sound good."

"We're not sure how to take it either. It doesn't fit with anything that we've faced so far," Krolia answered.

"Huh, sounds kinda like our whole lives the past couple years," Lance said.

"Well, it certainly does fall into that category," Keith gave a small chuckle as Lance smiled brightly.

* * *

An hour later everyone gathered around in the common room listening to Lance inform them about Shiro and the information that Krolia had gathered.

"I have been experiencing some odd interactions with the Olkari," Pidge offered. "Like they hesitate before greeting me, or Rhynar will correct herself in the middle of a sentence before moving on. I know they are just small things, but now they seem significant."

"I've experienced the same interactions," Allura joined in. "I've even had a couple of them tell me that they were surprised to see us here."

"Hmm..." Krolia rubbed her chin thoughtfully. "I am going back out tonight. If some of you would like to join me, I would be grateful. We could get more ground covered if there was more than just me out there."

"I'll go with you," Allura said.

"Me too," Romelle offered. "I'm getting restless around here."

"I will join as well," Coran said.

"Pidge and I can gather information from the citizens here in town," Hunk said as he leaned forward in his chair. "They seem to be more active in the night time now than they were before."

"I've noticed that as well," Keith said as he crossed his arms. Pidge shook her head in agreement. "I went to the training annex early this morning, and there were hardly any Olkari out and about."

"Okay, so the one conclusion I can draw from all this information is that the Olkari are afraid of something attacking them during the day – something dark and unseen," Krolia stood. "I'm going to refresh my supplies and gather my equipment, I will meet you guys outside the city in about one dobash?"

"Sounds good to me," Allura said as the others nodded.

"Keith, you and Lance should talk to Shiro, see if you can jar his memory, or at least get some information from him," Krolia gestured to her son who nodded. "We'll meet here at noon tomorrow with what we've gathered, how's that sound?"

Everyone nodded in agreement and stood and moved out of the room.

Except for Keith. He sat, running his hand through his hair, blowing out a breath of frustration. Lance was almost out of the room when he noticed Keith wasn't following him. He looked back and saw him a frustrated and sad look on his face. Lance nodded at Krolia as she passed by him. She smiled and patted him on the shoulder.

"You're a good man, Lance," she said. "You're going to make someone very happy one day."

Krolia paused then walked away as Lance gaped at her.

He shook his head and walked into the room. He pulled out the chair next to Keith and sat his butt on the table and placed his feet on the chair, crossing his arms over his knees.

"What are you thinking?"

Keith looked up at Lance, confused at what he was doing.

"Can't you sit on something the normal way?"

"Well, what's the fun in that?" Lance shrugged.

Keith growled and shook his head.

"Talk to me, Keith," Lance reached out and played with a stray curl that hung around Keith's face.

"Stop it, Lance," Keith said through clenched teeth.

"Geez! Alright," Lance put his hands up in surrender. He hopped off the table and started to storm out of the room.

"I'm afraid,"

Lance stopped just inside the door. He turned and crossed his arms.

"What did you say?"

Keith looked up at Lance who almost recoiled at the fear and sadness in his friend's eyes.

"I-I'm afraid of losing Shiro."


	7. Carry You

_I didn't intend for this to become as big as it is. It just started as a one or two shot so I could write some Shiro/Keith/Lance sexy times and it just ran away from me. If you haven't figured it out by now, this all happens before they find the_ faunatonium _, then I will weave my storyline with Season 7. I hope to have this finished before Season 8 comes out, so I can give my theories in story form. Best laid plans and all that._

* * *

 **Chapter Seven** :

Lance saw the symptoms of Keith's anxiety attack coming from a mile away. His breathing became irregular as he started clenching and unclenching his fists. Lance ran over and sat in the chair beside him.

"Keith, look at me," Lance carefully grabbed his friend's shoulders and turned him. Keith clenched his jaw as his eyes darted about.

"Sh-Shiro's not…Shiro's not going to…to survive…" Keith stuttered. He sniffed as he tried to breath.

"Keith, look at me and breathe as I do," Lance took in a large breath.

"B-But I…I can't breathe Lance…what is happening?" Keith grabbed Lance's arms.

"Keith." Lance chanted Keith's name until he was focused on Lance. "Keith, breath in…then breath out…"

"Sh-Shiro wasn't breathing…he wasn't…he was dead…" Keith squeezed his eyes shut as tears streamed down his face. He sniffed and started sobbing.

"Dios Mio, Keith," Lance said as he pulled Keith to him. Lance could feel his body shaking with sobs as he rubbed Keith's back in soothing circles. He felt Keith's tears soaking his shirt as Keith turned his head and nuzzled Lance's neck. Keith moved closer to Lance and wrapped his arms around the boy, reveling in the softness of his jacket.

"Keith," Lance said a few ticks later as he softly pushed Keith, and he looked him in the eye. His breathing still hadn't regulated itself, and Keith's cheeks and eyes were red. "Keith look at me. Breathe in, breath out."

Lance repeated the action until he felt Keith was under control.

"Keith, listen to me."

Keith's dark eyes snapped to Lance's.

"Keith, focus on four things you can feel," Lance said.

"Four things…I can feel," Keith's voice was hoarse from crying. He placed his hand on the table. "The cold table, my feet on the floor, the cool air in the room, and-…"

Keith moved his hand from the table to Lance's chest. "…and your soft shirt."

Lance chuckled. "Okay. Now, three things you can hear."

"Three-…" Keith paused. "My breathing, your voice, and your heartbeat."

Lance raised an eyebrow. He doubted Keith could hear his heartbeat. However, Keith moved his hand over Lance's heart, and they sat in silence, looking into each other's eyes. Lance saw a faint purple glow around his irises, and he breathed sharply through his nose.

"Okay, two things you can see," Lance said, trying to focus himself.

"I can see the different shades of blue in your eyes," Keith moved his hand to the bridge of Lance's nose. "and the freckles on your nose,"

Lance licked his lips as Keith's eyes flicked to them. Lance parted his lips to say his next move, wondering when this turned into an exercise in self-control instead of a way to ground Keith and get him out of his own headspace.

He cleared his throat. "Now, one thing you can taste,"

Before Lance could finish his sentence, Keith's lips were on his, his hands grasping at Lance's upper arms. The kiss was rough to start; Keith's teeth accidentally bumped his, and they couldn't find a rhythm. Lance placed his hands on each side of Keith's face.

"Keith, Keith," Lance chanted Keith's name until he pulled away; Keith's pupils were blown with desire and his breathing erratic again but in a good way. Lance wanted nothing more at that moment to take Keith in his arms and hold him forever. "How do you feel, now?"

Keith scanned Lance's face and swallowed hard. "I-I'm feeling better than I was. Thank you, Lance."

Keith startled himself as he sat back down in his chair; he hadn't realized he stood.

"It's going to be okay, Keith. You know you can talk to me at any time, right?" Lance reached up and brushed his dark hair out of his eyes. Keith raised his hand and interlaced his fingers with Lance's, and Lance smiled.

"I know, I just…I'm scared," Keith bit his lip and looked down at their interlocked fingers. "I-I was afraid for my life, Lance. I know that wasn't Shiro, but I know he was in there watching as his clone attacked me-…"

Keith choked off the end of his sentence and Lance embraced him again.

"Keith, listen to the sound of my voice," Lance said as Keith grabbed the back of Lance's jacket as if he was going to disappear. Keith's sobs racked his body harder than before. "Keith, Keith, Keith…"

Lance repeated his name like a mantra into his hair, holding onto Keith, who trembled. Lance brought his hand to the back of the other's head and started rocking. He held Keith as he slipped off the chair and brought them down the floor. Keith straddled Lance's hips, and Lance nuzzled his nose into the other's hair.

"Hold on to me, Keith. I've got you. I'll carry you," Lance whispered into his ear.

Lance kept rocking as Keith's sobs devolved into hiccups. When his breathing returned to relatively normal, Lance sighed and brought Keith to look at him at eye level. Keith's skin was ruddy, and his hair mussed; his long dark lashes wet with tears. Lance brushed his eyes with both thumbs.

"Keith. Keith?"

"Shi-…Shiro?" Keith's voice was dreamlike, but as soon as he opened his eyes, he gasped and jerked out of Lance's grasp. He landed on his butt next to Lance's long legs that were stretched out in front of him. Keith looked around, then placed a hand on his chest.

"Keith?" Lance started to reach for his friend but decided against it at the last minute. "Keith, are you okay?"

"L-Lance, it's you?" Keith said between breaths.

"Yeah, it's me," Lance finally reached out and lightly squeezed Keith's arm. He gasped but didn't pull away. "Keith, talk to me? What's wrong?"

"I-I was…was back there again, Shiro was attacking me-…" Keith hiccupped and turned away.

"It's okay, you need to talk about this," Lance pulled his long legs in and knelt beside Keith. "Look at me."

Lance carefully turned Keith's head so that he faced him.

"Sh-Shiro attacked me out there," Keith said after taking a deep breath. Lance nodded and placed a hand on his thigh to ground him. Keith looked down and grabbed it and interlaced their hands again. Lance was taken aback at how clammy it was. "He called me things that I know he didn't mean. He…he tried to bring out the Galra in me,"

Keith sniffed as a tear rolled down his face.

"Keith, I-…" Lance brushed the tear off his face.

"I told him I loved him," Keith drew in a shuddering breath.

"It's okay, you and he are close. It's okay to love someone you're close to."

Keith opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out.

Lance cupped Keith's cheek and moved close. "You are fine, Keith. Shiro will be fine."

"I think I love you too, Lance," Keith slapped his hand over his mouth as Lance's eyes went wide.

"Um…Keith…I love you too, but-…"

Lance was unable to finish his sentence. Keith claimed his lips, softly at first, hesitantly, afraid Lance would reject him. When Lance didn't respond right away, Keith started to pull back.

' _Fuck it,'_ Lance thought as he snaked his arm around the back of Keith's neck and pulled him close. _'Keith needs me, and I need Keith.'_

Lance licked at the seam of Keith's lips. Keith parted, letting Lance in to explore. Keith brought one hand down around the other's waist and the other underneath Lance's shirt.

"Holy shi-…your hand is cold," Lance said as he parted abruptly from Keith.

"Then keep it warm for me," Keith growled as he pulled Lance on to his lap. He ran the hand under the shirt around Lance's backside and squeezed. "Perfect."

Lance started to protest, but Keith brought him in for another kiss, pushing all his need for Lance into the embrace. It was confusing how his body was calm one minute, and the other he wanted Lance, and he wanted Lance anyway he could get him. On his hands and knees was preferable, but he had to get into Lance's skin first…

" _There's the Keith I remember…"_

Shiro's voice rumbled through his brain.

He growled and pulled away from Lance. Keith saw the flash of fear in Lance's eyes before they both blinked.

Lance scrambled off Keith's lap. Keith's eyes had been yellow and purple, and for a second, he thought he heard Keith panting like a wild animal.

"Lance, I'm so sorry," Keith said as he ran a hand over his face then through his hair. "I don't know what that was."

' _I just saw Keith's Galra-…'_ Lance swallowed his fear, trying to play it off. But he knew he was going to have to watch Keith closely from now on.

"I-It's okay. Things just got very intense for a tick," Lance tried to lighten the mood with a chuckle. He stood and brushed himself off then reached out for Keith.

"Are you sure, Lance? I don't think I was myself for a moment," Keith said as he grabbed Lance's hand to help him stand. The world spun, causing Keith to grab hold of the table.

"Whoa, you okay?" Lance wrapped an arm around Keith.

The dizziness passed as Keith groaned and covered his face.

"Just a dizzy spell," Keith drew in a deep breath. "It's passed."

Lance furrowed his brow at Keith. "Maybe you should go to your room, lie down for a while. I can talk to Shiro."

"Goddammit Lance, I'm fine!" Keith yelled.

Lance took a step back from Keith.

Keith's eyes went wide. "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry!"

Keith ran out of the room as Lance chased after only to see the outline of Keith and his Wolf disappearing in a flash of blue light.

"Keith, what the hell is happening to you?" Lance whispered to an empty hallway.

* * *

Keith swallowed the bile that threatened to rise as he landed hard on his bottom. Groaning, he looked around, trying to assess his situation. The Wolf whined.

"What just happened?" Keith asked quietly. "Where are we?"

The light on his nightstand turned on, and Keith gasped and turned, the Wolf looking at him innocently from next to his nightstand.

"Oh, my gods," Keith said as he collapsed on the bed. "What is happening to me?"

The Wolf rested its head on his thigh. Keith absently ran his hand through its soft fur.

"Maybe Lance is right, I just need to lie down for a while," he said as he sat up again. He ran a hand down his face. "Maybe take a shower first."

Keith scratched Wolf behind its ears. He stood and walked to the bathroom, shedding his clothes on the way. He examined the scar on his shoulder, then the one on his jaw. Flashes of Shiro's angry face came to him unbidden. Keith gasped and turned from the mirror and turned the water on in the shower.

* * *

In the meantime, Lance wandered the halls looking for Keith, finally deciding to look in his room. When he reached his place, Lance pushed the buzzer on Keith's door. The swoosh of the door was heard a few seconds later, and Lance glanced into the room. Keith was sitting on his bed drying his hair, the Wolf curled up at the foot of his bed. It lifted its head and whined and wagged its tail once.

"I would tell you to go away, but I know Wolf won't let you and you're too stubborn," Keith said, throwing the towel toward the bathroom. Lance could hear how rough his voice was from crying.

"I-I just wanted to make sure you were alright," Lance said as he stepped into the room. Orange light from the Olkarian sunset could be seen through the thin slats of the shades hanging in front of the window. It cast a warm light over everything. Lance hadn't realized how late it was getting. "I didn't know where you went."

"I…scared myself," Keith finally looked up at Lance when he sat on the bed next to Keith. "I'm surprised you want to be in the same room as I."

"I'll always want to be by your side, Keith, nothing can stop that,"

A small gasp escaped Keith's mouth. "How…how can you say that when you don't know what kind of monster I am?"

Lance furrowed his brow. "Keith, you are not a monster. You are my friend, and leader of Voltron, Paladin of the Black Lion. I am your right-hand man, literally and figuratively."

Keith sniffed and tried to turn away from Lance, but Lance stopped him with a hand cupped to his cheek.

"No, Keith. You don't get to turn away from this. Do you remember all the times you told me that there is something bigger than us out there and we must fight for it? That's what this is, except now we have to fight for each other, to keep each other in check. To make sure we stay sane before we get to Earth. Do you hear me, Keith? We fight for each other."

Lance looked back and forth between Keith's dark eyes.

"I was so used to be on my own when I was younger and when Shiro came crashing into my life, telling me that he believed in me and said he wouldn't quit on me, I didn't know what to do at first. It was nice to have someone finally see me for who I was – determined and clueless." Keith chuckled. "When he left for Kerberos, I was lost and alone again. I wanted to be mad and feel sorry for myself, but I knew…I knew that he wanted Kerberos so bad. So, I bottled my emotions and paid for it in my grades and classes. I isolated myself in my father's cabin. Until I saw the bright light streak across the sky and somehow, I knew it wasn't a meteor or anything like that. When I saw you, Hunk, and Pidge after I broke into Shiro's room, I knew I wasn't shaking you guys. Secretly, I didn't want to shake you. It was nice to be part of something bigger than myself again and to have Shiro and others helping me at the same time, was overwhelming."

"Is that why you were such a jerk when we met again?" Lance said with a smirk as he raised an eyebrow.

Keith couldn't stop the smile that came over his face. "Yeah, kinda," He drew in a deep breath. "When we lost Shiro…when I ran into the Black Lion, and he wasn't there, my heart dropped into my stomach. I didn't know what to think. I had lost Shiro again. I didn't know how to deal. Especially when the Black Lion responded to _me_. So much has happened to us Lance, I don't know how I'm still here,"

Keith brought his trembling hand up to look at it. "I-I'm afraid, Lance. I don't know what is happening to me."

Lance brought his hand up and tenderly interlaced it with Keith's.

"I'll be here for you. We'll all be here for you, whatever you need, Keith. You won't have to go through this alone."

Keith swallowed the emotions that were building. He opened his mouth to say something, and it wasn't what he intended.

"I think I want to kiss you,"

Lance licked his lips and scooted closer to Keith.

"I-I think I would like that. Very much,"

Keith brought the hand that wasn't being held by Lance up to his face, carefully tracing Lance's jaw placing a light kiss on his soft lips. He rested his hand on the side of Lance's face and kissed him gently again, this time Lance chased his lips and caught them, softly moving against Keith's lips. Keith snaked his hand around the back of Lance's neck and pulled him closer.

"Mmm…" Keith groaned and took a breath. "I could kiss you forever and still discover something new."

Lance smirked against Keith's lips. "I could say the same for you."

Lance captured Keith's lips, pushing his tongue in to explore Keith's mouth. He tasted of wild abandon, and Lance wanted more. He ran his hands up Keith's arms and shoulders and pushed the other down onto the bed. In one easy move, Lance was straddling Keith. Keith gasped into Lance's mouth as they moved and writhed against each other.

"Lance, Lance, Lance," Keith chanted as Lance placed butterfly kisses along his jaw and down his neck. Keith let out a strangled cry as Lance placed a kiss just below his ear.

"HHhmm…you like that?" Lance's hot breath shot across Keith's already overheated skin, causing him to buck his hips. "I guess so!"

Lance nipped and sucked at the skin below Keith's ear, reveling in the way Keith was coming undone in his arms. He reached down and cupped Keith's excitement through his trousers.

"Lance! Fuck, I need you…" Keith moved his hips and kissed Lance as one of his hands grasped the back of Lance's jacket, pulling him closer. The other hand reached between them to grope at Lance's erection.

"Jesus, Keith…nnnggg…" Lance bit gently on Keith's lip.

Lance suddenly sat up and threw his jacket off, then his tee shirt. Keith sat up and followed suit. They moaned at the contact of skin and Lance threaded his hands through Keith's hair as Keith kissed the other's chest, leaving a fiery trail of pleasure where ever his lips touched Lance. Lance moved his hips in an erotic rhythm and hissed when Keith nibbled on his nipple.

Keith cradled Lance's face in his hands.

"Gods Lance," he said breathlessly. "When did you become so built? You're beautiful."

Before Lance could say anything, Keith's mouth was on his, tongue dipping into Lance's mouth. They stayed like that for a moment, caught in each other's orbits, hips moving and squirming until Lance couldn't take any more. He stood, placing his arms under Keith's shoulders and lifting, then flipping. Keith protested, but cut himself off when Lance gave his ass a right smack. Lance straddled Keith, kissing his spine as he reached underneath to unbutton and unzip Keith's trousers. Keith groaned as Lance shimmied his trousers and pants over his hips and down his legs, pulling his boots, then the pants off. Lance pulled off his own shoes and trousers and hissed as the cold air of the room hit his overheated skin.

"You're the beautiful one, Keith," Lance said as he straddled Keith's ass, his erection fitting nicely in Keith's crack. Keith gasped and grabbed a handful of bedsheets as Lance leaned forward to kiss the scars that crisscrossed the pale map of his back. He kissed his way up to the scar on Keith's shoulder and placed an open-mouthed kiss there. Lance tongued his way from his shoulder to his neck, licking around the shell of his ear. Keith cried out and bucked his hips.

"Lance I-… hnnggg…"

"What Keith?" Lance mumbled into Keith's ear, the rumble in his voice going straight to Keith's mid-section. "What do you want? Tell me. I want to give you what you need."

"Lance, I think…I want you to fuck me," Keith said, breathlessly.

Lance froze as he hovered over Keith's neck. He knew what the request meant – it meant Keith was giving up control to Lance, and Lance wasn't sure he wanted it.

"I…are you sure?" He asked before kissing Keith's neck.

"Do…do you not want to fuck?" Keith pushed his upper body and turned so he could see Lance and Lance sat back on his heels.

"Of course, I want to. But, it's a big step – I don't want to hurt you," Lance rubbed the back of his neck.

Keith snorted. "Don't flatter yourself. Although, you are bigger than I imagined you to be."

Both men blushed.

"You've imagined me?"

"Well…I…just shut up and kiss me?" Keith reached for Lance who leaned forward and did as Keith asked.

"Do we have any lube…or condoms?" Lance asked when they came up for air.

"Crap, I didn't think about that," Keith said, the look of disappointment clouded his face.

"Lube is the most important thing." Lance paused as Keith looked at him expectantly. "I…um…was coincidently tested a week before we rescued Shiro on Earth. All of us were; Hunk, Pidge and I all a clean bill of health here. And I haven't had any sex-…" Lance giggled. "There hasn't been time."

"It's been a while since I've been tested," Keith blushed and looked away. "But it wouldn't matter. I'm a virgin."

"You're a virgin?" Lance's eyebrows hit his hairline.

Keith turned over onto his back, and sat up, getting nose to nose with Lance.

"Yeah, got a problem?" Keith crossed his arms.

"O-Of course not," Lance put his hand up in a gesture of surrender as he rubbed his neck again and turned away. "It's just, well, you're an excellent kisser, and you're a good-looking guy. I just figured you could have the pick of whomever you wanted."

Lance watched as a patch of red formed on Keith's cheeks and he traced his cheekbones tenderly with his fingertips.

"You think I'm good-looking?"

Lance rolled his eyes.

"I had to check in my straight card when I saw you for the first time at the Garrison. I mean, I've seen guys that are like wow, he's handsome. But, there was something different – something unique about you and your looks. You were always daydreaming, and I often wondered what you thought about. Your eyes would go all glassy, and I thought they were the prettiest I'd ever seen. Seeing you…watching you, solidified my bisexuality."

Keith blinked, not knowing what to do with all the compliments that were showered on him and the information that Lance just confessed.

Lance's stomach growled and broke the tension as they both giggled.

"We should eat something, I guess?" Lance suggested as he leaned in to kiss Keith.

"Probably a good idea since I haven't had anything to eat since this morning," Keith sighed.

"We aren't done here, though," Lance gestured between them. "When we are finished with all our errands, I'm going to ravish you."

Keith smiled a genuine smile that reached his eyes.

"I look forward to it, Lance," he said as he seized Lance's lips in a toe-curling kiss.

After several kisses, they finally separated and dressed and walked to the common room where Pidge was sitting at the table tapping at a tablet, and Hunk was serving up some food. They shared their information, which wasn't much, and Hunk told them he and Pidge were going back out to talk to more Olkari.

After eating they went their separate ways.

* * *

Lance and Keith arrived amid a flurry of nurses at Shiro's room. The sound of Shiro's raised voice gave Keith goosebumps and set Lance's teeth on edge. They looked at each other and raced there just as a nurse ran out. Keith and Lance peeked in and saw two large Olkari nurses holding Shiro's upper body, and one holding his legs. Shiro was thrashing and calling for Keith. Keith stepped forward before Lance could stop him and he stood in the doorway.

"Shiro?"

A thick silence blanketed the room as Shiro looked up and for a moment his expression went soft, and he relaxed.

"Keith! Keith, you're safe,"

In the next few ticks, Shiro transformed into the monster that attacked Keith.

"Now I will destroy you,"

Shiro's voice came out in a growl as he shook the Olkari off him and went after Keith before anyone could stop him.

* * *

The magic Haggar utilized to hone in on where the Lions had closed the tears in space had drained her. She had just enough left to create the portal she needed to get into the Quintessence field. Haggar's body gave a jolt as soon as she passed through the portal. She drew a deep breath and felt her body soak in the Quintessence, transforming her into the young Altean she used to be.

"Honerva," she sighed as she said her Altean name.

"Mother?"

The voice was small and weak, and Honerva wouldn't have heard it without the help of the Quintessence.

"Son? My prince," Honerva called.

"Mother…is it really you?"

"It is I -Honerva," she called as she used her magic to propel her through the Quintessence. "Keep talking so I can reach you, son."

"Mother, they left me here. She left me to die here. Everything hurts. Why can't I move?"

Honerva followed her sons cries to the Syncline Robot that was free floating in the field and paused. Was Lotor trapped?

"I'll get you out son, just hold on," Honerva looked for a place to crack into the machine, and finally settled on breaking the shield of what would be the cockpit.

"Lotor!" Honerva exclaimed when she broke through the frosted glass of the shield. She paused and looked around, not seeing her son threw her in a panic.

"Mother! You are so close, I can feel your presence. Where are you?"

"I am inside the machine," Honerva said as understanding slowly dawned on her.

"Mother, please, help me," Lotor's voice surrounded her. She swallowed.

"I-I'm trying, Lotor. Please hang on," Honerva looked around again, and saw a small hatch at the back of the cockpit. She pried it open, and her son's body came floating out; his skin a sickly gray color.

"My son," Honerva hugged him without thinking. When he didn't return her embrace, she sobbed once, then whispered. "Sleep soundly sweet prince. I am so sorry."

Honerva sniffed and pulled back. She brought out a sword and held out Lotor's arm. With one swift motion, she cut off her son's arm. Sheathing the sword, she reached in her robes and found a vial large enough to contain her son's essence.

"Lotor, I need you to sleep," Honerva said.

"Yes, mother,"

She drew in a deep breath and held her hand to the wall of the syncline, concentrating on her son's beautiful face. Honerva attracted the essence through her and into the vial. She gasped when the last wave passed through her and plugged the jar with the cork.

Honerva cupped her dead son's cold face. "I will see you soon, son."

* * *

 _You are not alone_  
 _I've been here the whole time_  
 _Singing you a song (Oh)_  
 _I will carry you_  
 _I will carry you_  
 _I know you can't_  
 _remember how to shine_  
 _Your heart's a bird without_  
 _the wings to fly._  
 _Is anybody out there?_  
 _Can you take this weight of mine?_  
 _Is anybody..._  
 _Can you lead me to the light?_

'Carry You'  
Ruelle and Fluerie.


	8. Was it a Dream?

**Chapter Eight:**

Lotor woke with a scream caught in his throat and a name on his lips – a name that he hadn't spoken in ages. He sat up as a bead of sweat rolled down his back. Shivering, he wiped the hair out of his face, trying to shake the last of the shadows from his nightmare. When Lotor brought his right hand down from his face, he saw a mechanical hand – white with black joints and answering every synapse that his brain was firing to that arm.

"What…what is this?" Lotor whispered to the darkened room. He made a fist and the hand glowed a dim purple. Lotor swallowed hard, trying to think of where he had seen such a thing before. When he released his fist, the light around it disappeared.

Lotor drew in a deep breath, trying his hardest not to panic. Turning he spotted a lamp on the nightstand next to the bed and turned it on. Cradling his arm, he looked around the room. It was non-descript, just like he remembered Galra hospital rooms - off-white walls, a bed, a plush purple chair, and two night stands. A window to his left brought in minimal light with the curtains drawn. The purple chair was the only color in the room.

He lifted the covers and saw that he was wearing a black undershirt and underwear. Lotor wiggled his toes, relieved that he could feel his feet and legs. Throwing off the covers, he swung his long legs over the edge of the bed. He almost cried, thankful that he had both legs and not some mechanical replacement like his arm.

A sharp, piercing pain shot through his head. He bent forward and tried to scream, but something was preventing him from using his voice. Lotor held his head in his hands and squeezed his eyes shut against the pain. Stars and black spots appeared in his vision as white noise crowded his mind, causing him to thrash about.

Then silence descended and all Lotor could hear was his harsh breathing. He wiped his face with his left hand, feeling the wetness from his tears on his cheeks.

"Lotor…"

Lotor lifted his head and opened his eyes, surprised to see that he wasn't in the hospital room anymore. Looking around, he was surrounded by a sea of blackness and stars, like he was floating in space. But this was different than space – this felt more ethereal, more…

"Lotor, look at me…"

The Galra Prince turned and found himself face to face with Honerva's champion. Lotor tilted his head, trying to make heads or tails of his situation. The Champion was dressed comfortably in loose, grey, cotton trousers and a soft long-sleeved white t-shirt. The former Galra prince felt naked standing in front of the other man. He crossed his arms around his mid-section, trying to cover himself to no avail. The Champion's eyes roamed over Lotor's body.

"Don't be afraid…" The Champion said, his voice wavering like a bad audio transmission. Lotor lifted his right hand to touch the other's shoulder, completely forgetting about his mechanical hand. He snatched it away, quickly.

"It's okay, Lotor," the Champion lifted his right arm, turning it over to show the other his own mechanical arm. "You are built the same as me now."

Lotor opened his mouth to say something, but he couldn't get his voice to work.

The Champion gave a small smile as he raised his left hand.

"I have something of yours Lotor," he gently placed his hand on the side of the Galra's face and Lotor gasped. "I don't want them anymore."

A flood of memories bombarded Lotor's mind as he stumbled backward. A vision of his younger self came into Lotor's mind; he was peeking around a door, spying on Honerva watching her study the clones she kept in their sleep pods. They were all the same person with high cheekbones and a healthy body. He gasped when he realized Honerva had cloned her Champion. Lotor ducked behind the door when Honerva turned to see who made the noise.

Lotor struggled to get his breathing regulated as he ran away from the scene.

He stopped in his tracks when he found himself standing in the doorway of the same room as he was moments before, except Honerva was gone. Lotor put his hand to his head as he turned around to get his bearings, only to see the same room. A small whine escaped his lips before he could stop it as he collapsed against the doorframe.

"What…what is this? What is happening?" Lotor called out, his voice scratchy.

An electronic hum was the only thing he heard as Lotor pushed himself from the doorframe. He wiped the sweat from his brow and found himself shaking. He was afraid – Lotor had never felt fear of this extent before.

Before he could stop them, his feet carried him into the room and to the closest sleep pod. He placed his left hand on the glass and studied the man inside. He was more handsome up close than Lotor had remembered. The Champion looked peaceful in slumber – his full lips slightly upturned at the corners. The rest of his naked body was covered in scars – some fresher than others – that crisscrossed each other. Lotor hissed and turned away, looking at the other clones, he saw they were in varying degrees of dress; from the naked one in front of him to one that was fully clothed in a Paladin's uniform.

"Shi-…Shiro…you…you are…Takashi Shi-…Shirogane…you…" Lotor's voice was rough as he stuttered and was abruptly brought out of his memories.

"No one's called me by that name since the Garrison," Shiro chuckled, despite himself. He stepped forward and clasped his right hand on Shiro's shoulder, his demeanor serious. Lotor opened his mouth to say something, but his voice wouldn't work, again. Shiro's eyes drifted down to his lips, lingering there, then back up to Lotor's eyes. They were no longer yellow, but he still had his purple, cat-like irises. "I don't have much time, so listen closely. You and I, we are dead. We are sitting in an ethereal plane waiting for someone to capture our essence-…"

"I-I'm not…I'm not dead…" Lotor managed to get out. "I'm…I was sitting…sitting in a G-Galra…hospital…I don't know what happened to me…" a small sob escaped his lips without his permission. He didn't want to show weakness to this man. "I-I don't know…know what's happening…"

"Lotor, hang on," Shiro caught the other as he fell into Shiro's arms, unable to control his sobs now. "Part of you isn't ready to be there, and the other doesn't _want_ to be here." He held Lotor until his sobs dissipated. Then held him at arm's length so he could look him in the eye. "I need you to do something for me. I need you to find the Paladins and let them help you. You need to get away from Honerva. She's using you. Please, Lotor, can you do this?"

Lotor sniffed. "I-I don't understand. The Paladins…they left me…to die."

Shiro cupped Lotor's cheek. The Galra nuzzled his hand. "You must redeem yourself somehow-…"

"No…no…no, no, no…this is not real…" Lotor backed away from Shiro. "You…you are a figment…you are controlled by…by that witch…"

"No, Lotor, please…I beg you to believe me," Shiro held his hand out, his expression open and honest. "She's controlling _you_ now. She has…she's cloned you…"

"I…" Lotor swallowed hard as he lifted his trembling left hand to grip Shiro's. "I believe you."

"Lotor…" Shiro's image faded in and out, as if a signal was blocked. "…I will find…"

Shiro never finished his sentence. Both him and Lotor were pulled away from the ethereal plane, back to their respective bodies.

* * *

Shiro woke with a scream stuck in his throat and a name on his lips – a name he hadn't said in ages. A bead of sweat ran down the back of his neck. Shivering, Shiro tried to shake off the shadows of the nightmare. His heart thrummed in his chest as he tried to regulate his breathing. Shiro ran a hand over his face then back over his hair.

"Shiro?"

The voice was small and familiar, but it still startled Shiro as he backed up against the headboard and hit his head. He didn't expect anyone to be in his room, let alone Keith.

"Keith? That you?" Shiro asked as he rubbed the back of his head.

"Yeah, are you alright?" Keith asked as he stood and stretched. His back popped in five places and he hissed. Keith had been sleeping with his upper half on the bed – head resting in the crook of his elbow – as his bottom half sat on the floor.

The chaos that ensued when Lance and Keith had arrived earlier that evening, was a stark contrast to the heavy silence that now blanketed the room. Shiro had been having a nightmare when they arrived, and the nurses were trying to contain him. No one could control Shiro until he attacked Keith. A nurse stunned him and Shiro dropped before he touched Keith. The Olkari nurses gave him a sedative so he would sleep and ran a battery of tests as they monitored his vitals.

When they were satisfied that Shiro was stable, they allowed Lance and Keith to come in the room and stay as long as Shiro's vitals continued to be level. Both men contemplated climbing in with Shiro, but after their unfinished business earlier, they agreed that would not be the best of ideas. They rock-paper-scissors to see who would sleep on the couch. Lance won two out of three games.

Now, Lance snored softly on the couch as Keith's ears rung from the cacophony of noise that happened earlier. Shiro gasped and wrapped his arm around Keith's mid-section.

"Keith, oh God, Keith you're okay," Shiro's body trembled with his sobs as the shadows of his nightmares dissipated. Keith held his breath, not knowing what to do. Shiro had never clung to him like this before. He gently placed one hand on Shiro's shoulder and the other cradled the back of Shiro's head. The hair back there was soft as it was growing out.

"I'm here, Shiro. I'm alive and well," Keith paused as he glanced over at where Lance was sleeping. "We're all alive and well."

"Lotor's alive," Shiro said between sobs. "I-I had a dream that Lotor was alive…but he had been cloned. I was-…I was cloned…"

Shiro clung to Keith tighter.

"Shiro, I-…" Keith started. "It's going to be okay. We are alive."

Shiro drew in a shuddering breath as he pulled back to look up at Keith. Keith gasped at Shiro's tear-stained face and mussed up hair. "Keith…I'm afraid I'm losing my mind," Shiro said as he rested his forehead against Keith's abdomen. "Am…Was I cloned? Am I a clone?"

"Shiro, you're not losing your mind," Keith shut his eyes against the lie. "It's this place, being here in this hospital room, you feel trapped."

"What's going on?" Lance's voice was heavy with sleep. He sat on the edge of the couch, rubbing his eyes and yawning.

"Lance?" Shiro sniffed as he lifted his head. "Lance you're okay…?"

"Yeah, I'm as fine as I'll ever be trapped on this planet," Lance said the last part of his sentence under his breath.

"Lance I-…I need to feel you. Feel your warmth," Shiro's request came out in desperation.

Lance glanced up at Keith and threw him a look of confusion.

"Lance, please?" Shiro's voice was a whisper.

"Yeah, of course," Lance pushed off the couch and walked over. Shiro let go of Keith and grasped Lance's jacket, pulling him until Lance and Keith were hip to hip. Shiro wrapped his arm around Keith's leg and rested his head on Lance's hip. "Um…did I miss something?"

"He woke up from a nightmare like this," Keith explained. "He thinks…he says Lotor is alive…that he saw him in the Ethereal Plane…"

Keith swallowed, and Lance looked at him expectantly. "What aren't you saying, Keith?"

Keith leaned into Lance and whispered: "He thinks he's been cloned."

Keith drew in a sharp gulp of air when he felt Shiro nuzzle his abdomen again. He shimmied Keith's shirt up his stomach and kissed him there.

"I-…cloned?" Lance started to back away, when both Shiro and Keith grabbed him – Keith by the arm and Shiro grabbed his trousers.

"Please don't go!" They both pleaded.

Lance regarded them both as his heart stuttered in his chest.

"Uh…okay," Lance said slowly as Keith relaxed his grip on Lance's arm, but never let go.

Shiro sat back on his heels. "Please, come lay by me?"

Both Lance and Keith looked at each other in surprise. Lance swallowed hard. Keith was about to say something, when Shiro trembled and his teeth chattered.

"We have to maintain our cool here, Lance," Keith said as he shucked off his boots.

"I…don't know what that is supposed to mean, but I will follow your lead," Lance said as he took off his own shoes.

When Shiro didn't move, Keith climbed on the bed and knelt behind Shiro, pulling him back to lay down. Shiro finally gave in when Lance climbed into the bed. Shiro wrapped himself around Lance, who lay on his back, and Keith grabbed the covers before wrapping himself around Shiro, trying his best to maintain a distance between his mid-section and Shiro's ass.

"Thank you," Shiro said as he yawned. "I just needed some human interaction."

Keith hummed his approval as Lance tried not to fall apart under Shiro's touch. Shiro's thumb made small circles on the warm skin above Lance's trousers.

* * *

Lance woke in a cocoon of blankets and Keith and Shiro. He grunted as he tried to rub his eyes, but his arms were trapped underneath the two men at his sides. Exhaling loudly, he tried to shimmy his way from out of Shiro's and Keith's embraces, only to have them tighten their cuddles on him. Keith's knee slid up Lance's thigh, barely brushing his bits and he yelped.

"Lance?" Keith's voice was hoarse from sleep. "Are you having another nightmare?"

"No, I'm fine," Lance turned to scrutinize Keith, who was now leaning on his elbow, looking down at Lance. "What do you mean 'another nightmare'?"

"You were thrashing about, calling our names in the middle of the night," Keith gestured between him and Shiro. Lance glanced over at the other man who hummed, but still seemed to be asleep.

"Did I hurt anyone?" Lance asked, biting his lip as Keith adjusted himself around Lance.

"No, just gave us a little fright, that's all," Keith traced Lance's jawline as he kissed his temple. Lance sucked in a sharp breath. He turned his head to face Keith again, and found himself nose to nose with the man. Keith parted his lips and brushed them against Lances. Lance wanted nothing more than to deepen the kiss, but with Shiro snuggling his other side, he was in an awkward position.

"What's wrong?" Keith asked as he pulled away.

"What do you mean?" Lance furrowed his brow.

"Do…do you not like kissing me?" Keith asked, running his fingers along his own lips.

"I love kissing you," Lance said as he nuzzled what he could touch of Keith with his nose. "It's just…I feel weird with Shiro here."

"You shouldn't feel ashamed, Lance," another voice that wasn't Keith's or Shiro's broke into Lance's reverie.

Lance shot up to a sitting position when he saw Lotor standing at the foot of the bed. Keith and Shiro were undisturbed by his presence.

"Lotor," Lance choked out. "Why are you here? How are you here?"

"It's a long story with little time to tell," Lotor paused and looked at Lance thoughtfully. "Although considering the dream I had about Shiro, I'm surprised you can see me. Are you dead and cloned as well?"

"I…dead and cloned? No! I'm neither dead nor cloned…" Lance paused. "I did die though. Allura brought me back. Still doesn't explain why _you_ are _here_?"

"I…need your help. I need the Paladins help, please," Lotor brought his arm from behind his back and held it across his stomach.

Lance gasped at the mech arm.

"Shiro was right," Lance said breathlessly. "You…you've been cloned."

Lotor winced and looked away. Lance had never seen the man so vulnerable before. He wiggled his way out of Shiro's and Keith's holds on him and climbed out of the bed to face Lotor.

"I don't have any reason to trust you," Lance started as he crossed his arms. "You broke Allura's heart and you forced Voltron into a fight that could have killed us all. You were greedy and now you are asking for help. I should be making you beg for our forgiveness."

Lotor inhaled sharply.

"I…please, forgive me," his voice was strangled. As Lotor turned back to face Lance, tears fell from his eyes. "Please?"

Lance stared incredulously at Lotor before clearing his throat.

"It's going to take more than words or tears for me to forgive you," Lance held up a finger to stop Lotor from interrupting. "Allura will make you grovel on your knees and I desperately want to see that. As for the others, you will have to prove you are trust worthy. You've never been my favorite person, but I have this sneaking suspicion that we are going to need all the allies we can get. I will help you, but you will somehow have to make everyone else see the good in you again."

Lotor swallowed.

"Thank you, Lance," Lotor suddenly screamed as he held his hands to his head.

* * *

"Lotor," Lance flinched and opened his eyes, trying to catch his breath.

"Lance?" Keith's voice came out in a whisper. Lance turned his head in the direction of the voice and saw Keith peeking over Shiro's shoulder. Shiro was deep in sleep. "Lance are you alright?"

"Yeah," Lance's voice was hoarse, and he cleared his throat. "Yeah, I-I'm fine. Just a bad dream. Go back to sleep, Keith." Lance shimmied himself from under Shiro's arm and sat on the edge of the bed. Running his hand over his face, he tried to shake himself of the vision of Lotor's vulnerable face. He stood and walked into the bathroom as he pushed the door to and turned on the light. He splashed some water on his face and barely held back the high-pitched scream that threatened to come out when Keith opened the door and walked in.

"What the hell, Keith?"

"I could ask the same question of you, Lance," Keith scowled. He closed the door and crossed his arms, leaning against the counter.

"What are you talking about?"

"Don't pretend you don't know. You woke up calling Lotor's name, just like Shiro did a few hours ago."

Lance opened his mouth to protest, but he knew that was pointless. He let out a sigh.

"I was dreaming-…he came to me in a dream. He had a mechanical arm, just like Shiro's and he said he needed our help. I told him he's going to have to do a lot of groveling."

"Our help with what exactly?" Keith turned to face Lance who ran his hand through his hair.

"That's the thing. I don't know. He started screaming and holding his head and I woke up before I could ask him."

"This better not be one of that witch's traps," Keith scooted closer to Lance and wove his hands around Lance's waist and rested his head on his shoulder. "I don't think I could handle losing both you and Shiro."

Still not used to Keith showing any sort of affection, Lance stiffened for a moment. He realized how well they fit together and wrapped his own arms around Keith's shoulders. "No matter what happens, I will always be here."

He kissed Keith's temple and Keith hummed in response. They both knew, after past circumstances, that neither could keep that promise. But the reassurance felt good to both.

They held each other for a long time, neither one speaking, neither one wanting to break the spell they were under. Keith pulled Lance closer, reveling in his body heat, then pulled away, giving Lance a small smile that took his breath away.

"We should get back to bed, to Shiro," Keith said.

"Um, yeah," Lance held Keith's gaze before they closed the distance between them. Their lips touched briefly, testing the other, before Lance brought his hands up to cradle Keith's head and deepened the kiss. Keith responded, opening his mouth to let Lance in as he pushed a thigh between Lance's legs. Lance responded with a delicious moan that danced down Keith's body and pooled in his mid-section.

"Want you, Lance," Keith's voice was breathless, and wanton. It made Lance shiver as he kissed along Keith's jaw.

"I need you more, Keith," Lance whispered into Keith's ear and caught the lobe gently between his teeth. Keith bucked his hips and Lance felt his need bump his hip and gasped.

Lance returned to kissing Keith as he ran his hands down Keith's back, squeezing his ass and pulling Keith closer. Lance swallowed the others moan as they rutted against each other. Keith suddenly shoved his hand down Lance's pants and found his hard cock. Wrapping his hands around it he squeezed and stroked a couple times.

"Jesus Keith," Lance said, the tiny bit of resolve he had was now broken as he squirmed in Keith's hands. Lance reached down with his own hand and palmed Keith, making him shiver and pant.

"Lance, please," Keith's voice was broken.

"Please…what, Keith?" Lance could barely talk.

"Please, I need you…touch me,"

Lance somehow unbuttoned and unzipped Keith's trousers and reached inside his pants, carefully wrapping his hand around Keith's swollen cock. He bucked into Lance's hand.

"God…yes…more," Keith grunted into Lance's shoulder. "Please I need you inside…"

"Lance…Keith? What are you two doing in here?" Shiro's voice startled both as they inhaled sharply.

Lance started to giggle at the situation they were in.

"Uh…Just talking Shiro," Keith managed to get his voice working. "We'll be out in a minute."

"Okay," Shiro said as he walked away from the door.

"Fuck," Lance whispered loudly, then groaned as Keith let go of him. "I'm…hmm…going to need a minute before going out there."

"Yeah," Keith panted into Lance's shoulder. "Me too."

Keith somehow had Lance's trousers and pants around his ankles and was down on his knees before Lance had a chance to process everything.

"Keith…" Lance let out a hoarse whisper as Keith took Lance's hard erection in his mouth and started a rhythm that had Lance's heart quickening. Lance shoved his fist over his mouth to keep himself from making too much noise. He felt lightning rush down his spine and his balls tightened as his climax hit. Keith looked up at him with his gorgeous eyes and took every drop that Lance gave him.

"Geez, Keith," he said after he caught his breath. Keith dressed him again and kissed Lance. He gasped at the heady taste of himself on Keith's tongue as Keith pushed down his own pants and grabbed Lance's hand. Lance wrapped it around Keith's dick and stroked a couple times before going down on his knees. He looked up at Keith whose eyes were closed in anticipation.

"Keith, look at me,"

When Keith looked down, he saw Lance's pupils blown wide and his cock on Lance's tongue. Keeping eye contact, Lance wrapped his lips around Keith and sucked. Keith had to grip the counter as to not fall. Lance reached around and slid a finger between Keith's cheeks and played with his hole.

"Guh…Lance," he placed his hand over his mouth as he shoved his cock into Lance's mouth, essentially fucking his face. He whined as he looked down and saw Lance looking up at him. Stars formed at the edges of Keith's vision as he felt his orgasm slither all over his body, then shoot into Lance's mouth. His knees trembled as Lance drunk him dry.

"I've got you," Lance suddenly stood, letting Keith fall against him. He nuzzled Lance's shoulder as Lance ran his hand through Keith's hair.

"We really need to stop making out in inappropriate places," Keith said after his breath regulated and his heart calmed.

Lance snorted at that. "Let me help you get dressed,"

After a couple of lingering kisses, they sorted each other out and Lance walked out first and climbed into bed. Keith followed not long after.

"You two either need to find another room," Shiro yawned. "Or include me next time."

Lance swallowed hard and Keith groaned.

Shiro chuckled. "G'night boys."


End file.
